2013 – 2015 Competitions
COMPETITION NO. 20: A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS POEM COMPETITION!
Hello to all you wonderful poets out there! I trust you all had a very merry Christmas! It seems that you’ve all gone back to school with heaps of ideas and energy, as this time we had a grand total of 94 entries in the competition, from 15 different schools in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Singapore, Melbourne and New Delhi! I loved judging this competition – the poems were so full of delicious food, dancing elves, fabulous presents, cosy fires and beautiful scenery that I wanted to turn the clock back and do Christmas all over again! Never mind, we all know that next Christmas will come around fast enough and before we can say Rudolph, the stockings will be on the mantelpiece and Santa Claus will be dusting off his sleigh once more! As ever, I was looking for excellent vocabulary, interesting imagery and great originality, as well as, of course, great spelling and grammar. I was also looking for poems that made me smile! It was a very difficult job choosing the ten winners in each category, and for those of you who didn’t make it this time, please do enter again – next time you may well be on the list! Here are the results:
Grades 1 to 3
In this section I was delighted to receive 32 entries from 5 schools: – the French International School, Glenealy School and Harrow International School in Hong Kong; British International School Shanghai in Puxi, Shanghai; and St Joseph’s Institution International School in Singapore.
FIRST PLACE: Ben Hanson, 7 years old, Grade 3, British International School Shanghai, Puxi Campus
Ben’s poem was one of the shortest entries I received, but proves that you don’t have to write a lot of words to create an effective poem! I loved the imagery and the successful internal rhyming pattern. Well done Ben!
Christmas
The moon is bright and the sleigh is light.
Santa and the elves have everything off the shelves.
People are singing carols and the elves are moving barrels.
SECOND PLACE: Gauri Ranjan, 7 years old, Grade 3, French International School Hong Kong
Readers will recall that Gauri placed second in the Autumn Haiku competition last year. Well done Gauri for another wonderful entry with an excellent rhyming pattern!
My Christmas Tree
My Christmas tree is pretty
Its leaves are green and glittery
It has a little shining star
And hanging from it is a little car.
Outside it is snowing
The lights on my tree are glowing
The presents below are big and small
Round and flat and short and tall
I look at it every day
And I wonder if it could say
Merry Christmas my dear
Wish you a happy new year.
THIRD PLACE: Jules Milan, 5 years old, Grade 1, Glenealy School, Hong Kong
Congratulations to one of the youngest entrants in the competition for this lovely word picture of Christmas dawn. I can just feel all the excitement and anticipation of waking up early on Christmas morning!
The wind is howling.
The snow is falling.
My parents are sleeping.
The dark is leaving.
Around the Christmas tree, in a circle, the gifts are waiting.
For me!
HONOURABLE MENTION: Shaan Mohan, 7 years old, Grade 3, Glenealy School Hong Kong
There were a large number of acrostics in the competition, and they really are fun to write and to read! I thought that Shaan’s was the most successful and certainly the longest!
Merry Christmas everybody in the world!
Everybody loves Santa and his elves.
Rudolph and the other reindeer pull Santa’s sleigh.
Rudolph’s shiny nose lights the way.
You and your friends will get lots of presents.
Christmas is a time of year when people eat turkey.
Hang lots of decorations on your Christmas tree.
Icicles fall from every tree branch.
Santa Claus is coming to town!
Tell your friends how many presents you got.
Me and my family love Christmas.
Angels hang from every Christmas tree.
Snowflakes are falling all over the place.
RUNNERS-UP:
Joe ?, 8 years old, Grade 3, British International School Shanghai, Puxi Campus
Chocolate is yummy,
Hot fire in the chimney,
Reindeer are coming,
Igloo making,
Santa and elves,
Time to have fun,
Making snowmen,
Amazing gifts,
Singing Christmas songs.
Abhay Ramnarayan, 8 years old, Grade 3, British International School Shanghai, Puxi Campus
The floor was bright ice,
And the children were feeling fun and nice.
Snowflakes were flying around,
The whole place was quiet not a sound.
The Christmas trees looked extremely bright,
And the children were waking and turning on the light.
Adam Zhi Feng Lee, 5 years old, Grade 1, Glenealy School Hong Kong
Christmas is really fun
Riding a sleigh is also a lot of fun
Playing in the snow, building a snowman is absolutely fun
And eating candy canes is the best form of fun
If you wear a Santa hat you will look like Santa Claus which is really wonderful
Also our Christmas tree always looks bright and beautiful
As you help put the wrapped presents to the side
You are hoping for what you want but never know what’s inside
Santa’s reindeer is flying through the air
Delivering presents everywhere
Singing Christmas songs while standing in the cold night
My favourite Christmas songs are Jingle Bells and Silent Night
Hanging up my stocking hoping Santa will come with a toy
If so I’ll really be happy because it means I’ve been a good boy!
Diya Jalan, 8 years old, Grade 2, St Joseph’s Institution International School, Singapore
Santa, Santa
Santa, Santa what do you see?
I see an elf coming to me!
Santa, Santa what do you smell?
I smell cookies and milk fresh, sumptuous and of course sweet!
Santa, Santa what do you taste?
I taste cookies and milk melting in my mouth.
Santa, Santa what do you hear?
I hear toys being made by elves.
Santa, Santa what do you feel?
I feel my soft reindeer’s fur as soft as a pillow.
Ho ho ho merry Christmas!
Ronit Mendonca, 5 years old, Glenealy School Hong Kong, Grade 1
A special thank you to young Ronit Mendonca for this lovely poem that reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas.
It’s Christmas Day
Baby Jesus was born today, on this very Christmas day.
All dressed up in our new clothes, we go to Church and pray, as I am thankful to the Lord for blessing my family and me in everyway.
It’s a day for giving and rejoicing, as I decorate my box of hope for a special child today.
Making someone happy brings a smile on my face and reminds me of God’s grace.
I love decorating the Christmas tree.
And once it’s done, it’s such a beautiful sight to see.
Making the Crib brings us so much joy as it tells us the story about how Baby Jesus was born on Christmas day.
My brother and me jump around all day, waiting for Santa to come our way.
Santa’s going to come soon with a bag full of toys for all little girls and boys.
Oh Christmas is so special in everyway.
It’s the pure joy of celebrating with my family as we sing, dance & play.
Visiting friends and loved ones near and dear.
Hugs and kisses from everyone just add to the cheer.
Singing carols late into night and watching the stars twinkling so bright.
Home made sweets, snacks and goodies; Oh how I love to share them with everybody.
As I step out holding my brothers hand, we see the entire city light up as we stand.
Beautifully decorated shopping malls, parks, cafes, buildings and streets. Not to forget supermarkets displaying my favourite sweets.
Oh how I love Christmas day as I dance with joy and sing to Baby Jesus “Happy Birthday”.
Curtis Zhou, 7 years old, Grade 3, British International School Shanghai, Puxi Campus
And finally, this little gem from Curtis, who did make me laugh with this funny entry!
A little chubby snowman stood up nice and tall,
With two little grape eyes that come from the mall.
A bunny came along,
Looking for some lunch,
Took the grapes,
“Nibble nibble nibble”
“Crunch!”
Grades 4 TO 6
In this section there were a whopping 62 entries from 13 different schools: in Hong Kong, Beacon Hill School, Christian Alliance International School, Glenealy School, German Swiss International School, Hong Kong International School, Quarry Bay School and Shatin Junior School; in Shanghai, British International School Puxi, Shanghai American School and Shanghai United International School; in Singapore, St Joseph’s Institution International School; in Melbourne, Meadows Primary School, and our first entry from India, from Somerville School in New Delhi. Big congratulations to Glenealy School for scoring six of the top ten places! Here are the top ten entries:
FIRST PLACE: Sadie Elizabeth Kerry Baillie Engel, 11 years old, Grade 6, Glenealy School Hong Kong
I loved Sadie’s free verse poem with its vivid imagery and excellent choice of vocabulary. I especially appreciated the “vermillion wine”, the “harsh, scratchy voices” of the singers and the last line, which was a perfect clincher! Her poem summed up for me all the cosy comforts of Christmas, with snow outside and warmth inside, but above all, Santa on his way. Congratulations Sadie on a well-deserved win!
Christmas Is Here
As the golden turkey bakes,
And the fire crackles softly,
While the adults all drink vermillion red wine,
As we rip open our presents with eager, happy faces,
As the sweet, milky flavor of chocolate washes over our taste buds.
While laughing round the pine,
And we compose cards to cousins,
And belt out the carols in harsh, scratchy voices,
While the ivory snow drifts down from the sky,
As we reach into our old, ragged stockings,
Santa is flying through the sky.
SECOND PLACE: Danielle Richards, 10 years old, Grade 6, Glenealy School Hong Kong
Another lovely piece of imagery from Danielle in this free verse poem about snow. I loved the “crystalline floor” and the “mushy silver-ness” as well as the excellent use of verbs to pull the reader in: swishing, gliding, rising, hovering. Well done, Danielle!
Snow
Gentle, pure snowflakes,
Flow along the swishing breeze,
Gliding to the ground,
Our spirits rising,
As our feet crunch the leaves,
The crystalline floor,
A land of white,
Layered with a mushy silver-ness,
The snow like a fuzzy blanket hovering over the trees,
Constructing an archway,
For Father Christmas to soar over,
Concealed from our sight.
THIRD PLACE: Charlotte Wu, 11 years old, Grade 6, Shanghai American School, Shanghai
Charlotte’s beautiful poem contains some really striking, original imagery and unusual vocabulary. I particularly liked the bells “fingering” the outskirts of town and the “euphony” of Christmas songs.
A Vanilla Winter Night
A drop of snow, a twitch of flake
A Christmas present for children’s sake
A kiss and hug laced with love
A buff of cheery merry chocolaty dove
The branches of the Christmas tree
Obscure the children underneath
The soft titter of the candy-thieving infant
Amusing the parents at an instant
The Christmas bells finger the outskirts of town
The illustrious cheers and laughter lift up frowns
Affable sales people running around
People buying presents from out of town
The euphony of Christmas songs
Urges everybody to sing along
The cajole of kids to dear family and friends
And the scribbling of paper attached to pens
The thick brick roofs blot the night
It reflects the traces of Christmas light.
HONOURABLE MENTION: Spencer George Paddy, 9 years old, Grade 5, Glenealy School Hong Kong
Spencer’s punchy, funny rhyming story in verse made me laugh out loud! I thought it showed a lot of imagination and originality, and the rhymes were well-executed. Fantastic work Spencer!
Mercury, Mars or the Moon
For Christmas, dad said we’re going to Uncle Rudolph’s place.
“Not again,” I cried. “How about we sprint to outer space?”
Said brother Blitzen, “Let’s go to Mercury, Mars or the moon.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Can we to go to the moon and soon?”
Said sister Dancer, “Mercury’s for me. I want sand and a tan.
And I hear the Mercurians have a hot new Christmas band.”
“You’ll get more than sand and a tan,” I said to Dancer, who’s fat.
“At 400˚ C, you’ll be a puddle of Mercury muddle in no time flat.”
Said brother Blitzen, “Mars is best. We can skate day and night.
And I’m told the Martians have snow that’s whiter than white.”
“You’ll get more than snow white and ice,” I said to Blitzen, who’s dumb.
“At minus 70˚ C, you’ll be Santa from Mars, only frozen and numb.
“Hey, I’ve got a better plan. Let’s grab the sleigh and to Uncle Rudy’s fly.
He’s got treats and presents and a candy-cane tree as big as the sky.
Besides, we can skate until noon and prance in the sun all afternoon.
Maybe next Christmas we can fly to Mercury, Mars or the moon.”
RUNNERS-UP:
Lillian Lee, 9 years old, Grade 5, Beacon Hill School Hong Kong
Christmas
If you walk along the seasons,
Winter blows the warmth away,
Snowflakes patter onto your tongue,
Hoping winter’s come to stay.
You write your special Christmas list,
With all the things you want,
You decorate the Christmas tree,
With baubles from your aunt.
You prepare your pretty stockings,
And hang them by the fire,
Putting out delicious cookies,
And hoping you don’t tire.
Santa comes on down the chimney,
With a bulging bag of toys,
Drops a lot into your stocking,
Bringing so much Christmas joy.
Osborn Ma, 10 years old, Grade 6, Glenealy School Hong Kong
My dog Strawberry’s Christmas
Glaring at the glittering tree
Heavy gold wrapped presents underneath
Baubles shining, reflecting warm hearts
Staring at stuffed stockings
I wonder if there is anything for me?
Mail exploding through the letterbox
Children laughing
Tuneful carols
Birds chirping at the frosty window
Delicious smells waft…
People rubbing me on the head saying ‘’aw strawberry!’’
A sleigh shooting through the night sky
Mmmmm, I wonder what that’s about?
Nathaniel Ho, 9 years old, Grade 6, Glenealy School Hong Kong
A Christmas List to Santa
I want:
A reindeer like your own
Your sleigh to soar around the world
A life sized Christmas dome
A cracker full of valuable gifts
A TV with the hugest screen
A computer with apps for free
An Ipad with a built in wallet
A phone full of cheese
A flying saucer with the wildest thoughts
A Minotaur to take apart
Please remember a dinosaur
And a steam powered elf
Oh please Santa,
If I just had these things to play
I promise
I’ll give them back someday.
Hillary Lo, 8 years old, Grade 5, Shatin Junior School Hong Kong
Christmas Poem
C is for Christmas, the celebration of gifts!
H is for Holly, my decorative flower!
R is for Resolution, it is time to make you perfect!
I is for Ice, where’s my snowman?
S is for Santa, our mysterious north- pole children admirer!
T is for Turkey, our sizzling delight!
M is for Magical, how our glorious night feels.
A is for Angels, they whom you start with a sparkle.
S is for Surprise, gifts and crackers!
Christmas Eve, Joy to the world.
Christina Lee, 10 years old, Grade 6, Glenealy School Hong Kong
Perfecting Christmas?
My name is agent 00E
E stands for elf
I’m scampering through the corridors
Flitting from shelf to shelf
Snipping pine needles from Christmas trees
To stack more lumpy parcels on top
Popping luscious marshmallows into frothy cocoa
Nimbly from cup to cup I hop
I twirl like a wooden spinning top
Lustrous glitter falling like intricate snowflakes from the sky
Touching down on quivering fire-bright baubles
Sweet smelling branches where the excess lies
I admire the mouth-watering succulent golden brown turkey
The check is done to my delight
Though Father Christmas will be enraged
I ate every piece of food in sight
I scavenged for each morsel
I devoured the scrumptious bitter-sweet cookies
Oh what will jolly Santa say?
He’ll certainly fire me!
Archita Ray, 10 years old, Grade 5, Somerville School, New Delhi, India
It is Christmas day
Say Hi! It is Christmas day,
The reindeers are headed this way,
My tree glows all day like a light,
Santa is coming on a sleigh,
This is the day when Jesus was born,
In a manger with animals and corn,
On this day, flowers are bright,
It is truly a beautiful sight.
Christmas is a special time,
I like the music and the rhymes,
Just like big waves passing by a bay,
Say Bye! It is Christmas day.
SPECIAL MENTION: Helen Yim Man Huen, 8 years old, Grade 4, Quarry Bay School, Hong Kong
Finally, I couldn’t resist a Special Mention to Helen Yim with her very funny take on MY Christmas with my characters from the Chinese Calendar Tales! Here it is, complete with Run Run Rat, Sybil Snake, Chester Choi and none other than my latest character, the Dark Horse! Thank you Helen for your very original effort, as well as for complimenting my roast turkey J!
The Christmas of Sarah Brennan
Sarah Brennan doesn’t think that Christmas is the same without the Zodiac animals,
So they celebrate the jolly season together,
She bakes them Christmas pudding, and makes little Zodiac bobbles that represent everyone.
She makes little Christmas presents for each and every one of them,
Suddenly the Christmas spirit gets a little crazy!
The Zodiac animals all jump out of their books and boogie like they’re mad!
Run Run Rat runs, Sybil Snake slithers, even Chester Choi’s bottle is waltzing around the room!
After Dance-like-you-are-out- of-your-mind time is over it was the time to sing the carols,
They were a bit toooo off key for me even Sarah Brennan has to admit.
Then the big enormous Christmas dinner started,
Sarah Brennan was a wonderful cook; I highly recommend her roast turkey!
Soon jolly Christmas was nearly done, sadly that meant Christmas was nearly over, but you know what they said?!
Well they said: “We don’t care!”
Christmas is always before Chinese New Year! Dark Dark Horse is coming to Town!
COMPETITION NO. 21: A HANDSOME HORSE POEM COMPETITION!
HARUMPH! What a fantastic time I’ve just had judging the entries in my Handsome Horse Poem Competition! There were 105 fabulous entries from 17 schools in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Shenzhen, Singapore, Australia and the United Kingdom, with some excellent acrostics, haikus, diamond poems, limericks, free verse and some really good attempts at rhyming couplets. Jerry Li from SWIS in Shenzhen even attempted a sonnet – well done Jerry! There were horses of every type too! There were baby foals with silvery hooves, gentle little ponies, horses that were shy, curious, fearful, giddy, graceful, famous, wild, lonely, very fast (of course!) and many that were mighty! There was even a horse that ate homework! And horses of every colour, from snowy white steeds to dashing dark stallions to horses striped like a zebra! I loved reading them all, and, as ever, it’s been a very hard job to choose the winners. Congratulations to everyone who entered for their efforts, and special congratulations to the winners in each Section. The First Place Winners each receive a free signed copy of one of my books!
A Note About Age-Groups: It can be difficult to decide how to split the categories when judging entries from primary schools around the world. In some countries, children start school at an earlier age than in other countries, so that they reach higher grades (and standards) at a younger age than their contemporaries elsewhere. In others, children don’t start learning in the English language until they are much older than their native English-speaking friends of the same age. So it’s hard to be fair to everyone at the same time! For the purposes of my competitions, therefore, I have had to plump for what I feel is the fairest criteria, which is how many years the child has spent in school. Hence I categorise by grade rather than age, and you will find that there are 8 and 9 year olds in both the Grade 1 to 3 and the Grade 4 to 6 categories below. Please rest assured that first and foremost it is the writing I am judging, and you’ll quickly see that many younger kids write just as well as children a year or two older!
Kindergarten to Grade 1
Poems are very difficult for the littlest ones, and this time we only had one brave entrant! Congratulations to:
Sophia Yim, 6 years old, Grade 1, Quarry Bay School, Hong Kong for her terrific entry below, which has won her First Place. Sophia wins a free signed copy of one of my books – well done Sophia!
The Land of Horses
Ticking and tacking all around
Up the hill and down the road
They ran so fast they won the race
MUMMY horse and DADDY horse went home with them happily.
Grade 2 to Grade 3
In this section there were 32 entries from 5 schools: in Hong Kong (Kennedy School), Shanghai (Shanghai Community International School, YK Pao School), Shenzhen (Shen Wai International School) and Singapore (St Joseph’s Institution International Elementary School). Congratulations to all the winners below!
FIRST PLACE: Ryan Liu, 9 years old, Grade 3, SWIS, Shenzhen
I loved Ryan’s free verse. It caught my imagination with its powerful imagery of a horse racing fast as the wind through the darkness. It also very effectively evoked a feeling of wonder and mystery. Well done Ryan – you have a lovely poetic sensibility.
The dark wind
Horse, horse, where are you going?
I can’t tell you now.
Are you finding the Spring?
No, I’m racing with the wind.
It is a deep dark night,
The horse is fast like the wind.
It is very cold outside,
I don’t know where he is going.
SECOND PLACE: Diya Jalan, 8 years old, Grade 2, SJIIS Elementary, Singapore
Diya is becoming a wonderful poet, with a Runner-Up place in my Christmas Poem Competition and Second Place in the Snake Poem Competition last year! I thought this poem was terrific, with clever use of onomatopoeia, repetition, and some lively imagery. I especially loved the horse’s “shimmering coffee brown mane”. Keep up the great work Diya!
Clip Clop Clip Clop
Clip Clop Clip Clop goes the horse
It’s tap tap tapping on the ground
Its coffee brown mane shimmering
In the scorching bright sunny sun!
Munching on hay
Sitting in the sun
Licking the water
And having lots of fun!!
So clipitty clop, clippity clop goes the horse
Who tap tap taps on the ground
Lets its coffee brown mane shimmer
In the scorching bright sunny sun!
Munches on the hay
Sits in the sun
Licks the water
And has lots of fun!!
THIRD PLACE: Silja Maria Kjartansdottir, 7 years old, Grade 2, SCIS Hongqiao, Shanghai
I was very impressed by Silja’s rhyming poem, especially at the tender age of 7! The rhythm was pretty good too! Keep it up Silya – I started writing poem’s myself at the age of 7, and I think your poem is definitely better than mine were!
Dark horse
What is that there racing?
Something quite amazing.
What could show such force?
Of course, a Dark Horse.
My friend is really fast,
Riding him is a blast,
With him I feel so free,
My Dark Horse and me.
HONOURABLE MENTION: Max Kerr, 9 years old, Grade 3, SCIS Hongqiao, Shanghai
Max’s rhyming poem made me smile, especially his wish at the ending! Well done Max for the excellent work with your rhyming couplets!
I Love a Horse
Of course, of course
I love a horse
They are big and strong
Their noses are long
They eat oats and hay
And run around all day
I love to ride them super fast
I love to watch them riding past
Of course, of course
I wish I was a horse!
RUNNERS-UP:
Congratulations to the six Runners-Up for their great poems. A very special mention to Serina Zou, another 7 year old, for making it to the top ten against some stiff competition from the bigger kids!
Lily Hu, 9 years old, Grade 3, SCIS Hongqiao, Shanghai
The Lonely Horse
There is a horse in the stable,
Who are you talking to?
Are you feeling lonely?
Tomorrow I will come to accompany you,
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, day and night,
We together talking in whispers in horse language.
Louisa, 8 years old, Year 2, YK Pao School, Shanghai
Humble
Overactive as he jumps the hedges.
Radiant to watch running through the fields.
Shining fur and a swishing tail.
Excited after his busy day.
Serina Zou, 7 years old, Grade 2, SWIS, Shenzhen
The young horse named Mary
There once was a young horse named Mary,
Mary was rather quite hairy,
She blow-dried her hair,
It made her quite bare,
And now she has less hair to carry.
Richard LAU, 9 years old, Grade 3, SWIS, Shenzhen
White Horses
Big and white,
With small ears.
A big mouth,
Two big eyes.
Healthy body,
With long legs.
Long furry tail,
Like a handsome prince.
Run through the forest,
As fast as he could.
I want to be like a horse,
Run as fast as I could.
Ava Mallon, 8 years old, Grade 3, YK Pao School, Shanghai
The Horse and Bear
There once was a horse that had white hair
Who met a gigantic grizzly bear
They wanted to fight
Under the moonlight
And now they have learnt how to share.
David Yuan, 8 years old, Grade 3, YK Pao School, Shanghai
David’s poem was one of the many excellent Diamond Poems which I received from his grade at YKPao School. I will try to reproduce the diamond shape below, but this may be difficult with WordPress. So if you don’t see a diamond shape, please imagine one!
Horse
Friendly Lovely
Galloping wandering munching
Riding fighting carrying
Brave safe
Horse
Grade 4 to Grade 6
In this section there were a massive 68 entries from 16 schools in Hong Kong (Australian International School, Beacon Hill School, Christian Alliance International School, Discovery Bay International School, Glenealy School, Kennedy School, The Peak School, Quarry Bay School, Shatin Junior School), Shanghai (British International School Shanghai Pudong, Shanghai Community International School and YK Pao School), Shenzhen (Shen Wai International School), Australia (Kambala, Sydney) and the United Kingdom (Great Missenden School, Buckinghamshire and South Moreton School, Oxfordshire). Congratulations to all the winners below!
FIRST PLACE: Hillary Lo, 9 years old, Year 5 Sha Tin Junior School
Hillary richly deserves her first place in this competition. She has been entering my competition regularly for several years now, winning 3rd place in my Jade Dragon Story, and Runner Up in both the Autumn Haiku and Christmas Poem competitions last year. Each time, I have watched her writing develop, until her current entry, which really is quite special. While the poem isn’t perfect, it contains some truly original and wonderful imagery (I love the way the horse “soars below the yellow sky” and the “glimmering apple of my eye”, as well as the hooves “clinking”). And the last two lines show quite a mature poetic sensibility, especially for a 9 year old. Congratulations Hillary!
Little Black Colt
Light footsteps slowly pad round the field,
Dawn falls on the bright moonlight,
Small hooves clink against the grassy floor,
As the wind gently nuzzles his ear,
Fears seep, exude through his thin body,
He soars below the yellow sky,
The beam on his dappled face is wry,
Gapes, glances and gazes join,
When he vaporizes in the glimmering apple of my eye.
SECOND PLACE: Madhura Tilve, 11 years old, Year 6, Glenealy School Hong Kong
Well done Madhura for this wonderful poem, with its gorgeous imagery and majestic tone. I loved the horse’s “rich mahogany mane flowing to the wind’s melody” and the “shining hooves tapping vigorously”. Great work!
Majestic Horse
In the mist of the dark shadows,
Under the old oak tree,
A figure covered in glistening raindrops,
Waits silent and free.
The sky is dim, the sun has awakened,
A majestic horse is ready to start,
For he is ready to conquer the world,
And gallop along triumphantly.
His rich mahogany mane,
Flowing to the wind’s melody,
The snow-white mark running down his head,
Shining hooves tapping vigorously.
He will race across the world,
Experiencing pride and glory,
And victory while defeating evil,
While spreading its good will.
THIRD PLACE: Chelsea Parker-Burton, 10 years old, Grade 5, Kambala, Sydney, Australia
Welcome to Chelsea, a newcomer to my competitions, and congratulations on this lovely poem with its beautiful evocation of fields and trees. I loved your “fragrant flowers” and “glistening green leaves”. I hope to see more of your work in upcoming competitions!
The Year of the Horse – A Poem
Horses to me are a dream far away
In a field full of majestic trees and fragrant
Flowers, horses cantering away
Under the glistening green leaves
The horse and I feeling free as the breeze.
I would like to be there,
I would like to part of that dream
Spending time with galloping horses and a most
Beautiful scene.
HONOURABLE MENTION: Emily Griffiths, 10 years old, Year 5, Great Missenden School, Buckinghamshire, UK
A warm welcome to Emily to this competition! I really enjoyed the clever format of this poem, which starts on such a jaunty note and ends so tragically. I felt that the repetition worked well too, enhancing the pace and the tone of the poem. Keep on writing Emily!
Horses
Clip clop went the horse’s hooves,
Hey! Ho! Went the horse’s moves,
Hooves, moves on a lovely summer’s day!
Clip clop went the horse’s hooves,
Hey! Ho! Went the horse’s moves,
Bang! Bang! The horse turned pale,
Oh no! Time to bail!
Hooves, moves, pale, bail on a lovely summer’s day!
Clip clop went the horse’s hooves,
Hey! Ho! Went the horse’s moves,
Bang! Bang! The horse turned pale,
Oh no! Time to bail!
Eee! Eee! Went the horse’s throat,
The horse died away in a boat,
Hooves, moves, pale, bail, eee, boat on a terrible winter’s day
RUNNERS-UP: Big congratulationsto all the poets below, for their excellent efforts in securing a place in a very big field of competitors. Keep on entering my competitions so we can all watch as your writing gets better and better!
Alexandra Feneberg, 10 years old, Year 5, British International School Shanghai
Twilight Horse
I saw him in a pasture
His coat as black as night
His mane glimmering softly
His hooves shining bright.
He flicks his ears and whinnies
He seems to call my name
I leave the pasture,
Just to come back again.
One day he no longer lives there
And I still don’t know his name
So I quietly name him ‘Twilight’
The name I treasure most.
He is a horse of mystery
I am sad we had to part
He seemed almost human
And seems to have ripped my heart.
Mia-sam Gabay, 10 years old, Grade 5, SCIS, Shanghai
My horse Bluey
My horse is white like the stars
He has blue eyes like a sparkling ocean.
Bluey gallops in the wind gracefully and beautifully.
His tale flows back and forth
Like the ocean waves slowly going to shore.
When the roosters wake him up in the quiet farm
He’s up and ready to start his day.
All I want to do is play with Bluey.
Bluey is my sprinkles to my cupcake;
Without him I don’t know what I am.
Lillian Lee, age 9, Grade 5, Beacon Hill School Hong Kong
Horses
If you walk slow and calm into a barn,
You might see spider webs with strings like yarn,
You might smell the fresh animal smell,
But you’ll find the place where the horses dwell.
Horses are very mature creatures,
With very, very, delicate features,
With long graceful tails that go swish, swish,
Eating oats out of a dish.
Beckon one forward with a carrot,
He probably will not want to share it!
Harry, 8 years old, Year 4, South Moreton School, Oxfordshire
What am I?
Hay eater
Saddle wearer
Grass roller
Champion racer
Show jumper
People lover
Rhythm mover
Hooves stamper
16 hands high
Brown, white, grey or black
What am I?
A horse of course!
Sydney Montalvo, 8 years old, Year 4, The Peak School, Hong Kong
Handsome horses,
Over the hills,
Running through the fields,
Swift strides they make,
Ever so eloquently,
Strutting into the sunset.
Ryan Lee, 9 years old, Year 4, Kennedy School, Hong Kong
A little white horse haiku
One little white horse,
Kind, gentle, soft and friendly,
Trotting all day long.
COMPETITION NO. 22: A SUPER SILK ROAD STORY COMPETITION!
Well that was a truly SUPER Silk Road Story Competition! It’s been such fun to read all your stories, but now I’m just about Silk-Road-ed-out!! There were dessicated deserts and mighty mountains, deadly dust storms and savage cyclones, magnificent markets and busy bazaars, humble hovels and perfect palaces! There were genial genies, dastardly demons, tenacious traders, rotten robbers, stern soldiers, evil emperors, faithful friends and ferocious foes! Above all there were camels: hot, hairy and hugely entertaining, and of course, most of them had five humps! And I won’t even start telling you about the PINK objects scattered all about! I do hope you had as much fun writing your stories as I had reading them!
There were a whopping 111 entries from 13 schools in 5 different cities around the world: In Hong Kong SAR: American International School, Beacon Hill School, Discovery College, German Swiss International School, Kellett School, Renaissance College, Shatin Junior School and Yew Chung International School. In Shanghai, China: Shanghai Community International School, Hongqiao and Shanghai United International School, Hongqiao. In Singapore: St Joseph’s Institution International School. In Sydney, Australia: Kambala Girls School and in the UK: Great Missenden School, Buckinghamshire.
It’s been a big job judging them all, and I want to thank you for your patience waiting for the results! Just a quick reminder of the basic rules: I was looking for
- Stories no longer than 1000 words;
- They had to include the Silk Road, the colour pink and a 5-humped super camel;
- They also had to include at least 3 of my Wicked Words from my blog, used correctly;
- I was looking for some close attention to the setting, including time, season and place;
- And for evidence that you’d put in a bit of research about the Silk Road;
- I was also looking for excellent vocabulary, good grammar and punctuation;
- And stories with a good story structure including a great beginning and ending;
- And finally that certain “X-Factor” which made your story stand out from the rest!
So I was looking for quite a lot – some might even say that I was looking for a 5-humped super camel! And I am very happy to report that I found quite a few!
First place winners receive a FREE signed copy of one of my books! Here are the results:
GRADE 1 TO GRADE 3 CATEGORY
As you can see, this competition was HARD, with lots of special ingredients and rules! So I was really surprised and delighted to get some entries from Grade One to Grade Three students! Here are the results for this category. Wicked Words are printed in bold itallics.
FIRST PLACE: Kristina Akova, Grade 3, German Swiss International School, Hong Kong, 8 years old
Congratulations to Kristina for an excellent story about a rather shady deal! She began her story well, with excellent vocabulary and writing style throughout, and her use of speech was very well done. There was a colourful and vibrant sense of place: I can just picture those busy Persian market places in my mind’s eye!
A Jade With A Pink Streak
Once upon a time there lived a fastidious artist who could afford anything! He lived in Hamadan and his name was Qasim. Qasim had dark eyes and lightly tanned skin. He was 208 years old and no one really knew the secret of his longevity. He also owned a super camel with five humps. People often wondered if his longevity is somehow related to his beloved camel, but Qasim never revealed his secret. He had only one weakness, he enjoyed gambling.
One day the Ruler of Persia gave Qasim a jade with a pink streak to make a special pendant and earrings for his wife. The jade was really rare and only people like the Ruler and nobles could afford it. Qasim was on his way home when he met his good friend Sa’ood. Sa’ood was omniscient and also sly. He suggested a game of cards. Qasim hesitantly accepted because of the gem in his pouch.
They found a nice cool spot under a bridge and started to play cards. Qasim had no luck that day and was losing fast until finally he had to bet the jade. Qasim lost the last game and reluctantly handed the jade to Sa’ood. ”Bye! I’m going to Rayy first thing tomorrow. Thanks for the jade Qasim!” Sa’ood said.
The next day after breakfast Sa’ood went off on his camel to Rayy. Rayy had the biggest market in the area. Once he got there, he set up his stall next to a group of dancing ladies wearing colourful silk costumes. ”Come and look at a jade with a pink streak! A jade with a pink streak!” Sa’ood called to anyone watching the dancers. ”Come and get it first!” he exclaimed again. A few customers came and examined the jade, but they could not afford the expensive stone.
Meanwhile Qasim was on his camel and on the way to Rayy. He was wondering how to persuade Sa’ood to give him the jade back. ”That is it! I’ve got it!” Qasim thought to himself. He got off his camel and milked it into a container. Then Qasim popped the container into a pouch, he hoisted himself up and finished his journey.
Once Qasim got to Rayy, it was the afternoon and all the market stalls were still opened. Qasim looked around when suddenly he saw an amazing ewer. Qasim ran to that stall but their was no one behind the counter. ”Excuse me, is there anyone here?” he asked. Suddenly a young woman appeared behind the ewer. ”Yes! What would you like sir?” she said ”I would like that ewer please.” Qasim answered. ”Trade two silk dresses for it,” the woman answered. ”Will a golden tablet do?” asked Qasim. The woman whistled ”Agreed.” So Qasim gave her a gold tablet and the woman gave him the ewer.
Qasim carefully poured his camel’s milk from the container into the ewer and ran up to Sa’ood’s stall. ”Aha Qasim! What do you want?” Sa’ood inquired. ”Look. In this ewer is camel milk that will make you live forever.” Qasim said. ”Really?” asked Sa’ood ”Yes! I will give you this milk only if you return the jade.” Qasim replied.
Sa’ood hesitated for a long time. ”Hmmm…What should I do? Be rich or live forever? If I am rich, I can afford anything that traders bring on the markets… soft silk, expensive gems, delightful spices, exotic fruits and fragrances. If I live forever, I can have enough time to explore the splendiferous lands beyond Persia… Arabia, India and China. Hmmm…OK… give me that camel milk and here is the jade!”
Sa’ood handed the jade to Qasim. “Thank you.” replied Qasim as he passed the camel milk. Sa’ood immediately drank the tasty liquid. ”Ahhh! What delicious camel milk.” commented Sa’ood satisfied. ‘‘Where did you get this camel milk?” Sa’ood wanted to know, but Qasim had already ran towards his camel and out of Rayy.
And if you ever visit Iran and happen to meet two people accompanied by a five hump camel, you would know who they are, wouldn’t you?
SECOND PLACE: Anjali Rungta, Grade 2, American International School, Hong Kong, 7 years old
This was a magnificent effort for a 7 year old! It was obvious that Anjali had done some great research about the Silk Road and Marco Polo, and used four Wicked Words very effectively. I’m anxious myself to know the answer to the question about Kublai Khan!
The Trader
Hello, my name is Li. I am a trader who sells silk in Rome. I am here to tell you my experience with Marco Polo.
One day, while I was travelling along the Silk Road, I saw a man with an idiosyncratic camel. That camel had 5 humps! It was a special and strange camel. The man looked illustrious, he had something special hidden in him. I ran to him and said, “Excuse me sir, what’s your name?”
The man replied, “My name is Marco Polo, nice to meet you. I’ve been travelling here for weeks, you see Kublai Khan has sent me on a mission. And now I have to give him some important Italian goods. I was just wondering could I borrow some resplendent pink silk for my wife, Donata. I would be most grateful.”
I was bamboozled, should I give my precious pink silk or should I risk getting him atrocious by saying no. I replied, “I will give you my resplendent pink silk, if you give me your super sized camel.”
Then Marco Polo answered, “I shall give my camel to you, so may you give me the silk?” I nodded and quickly grabbed my precious silk to give to Marco Polo. He gave me the leash for the camel with five humps.
Then I asked Marco Polo if he wanted to join me. Marco Polo said, “Yes, thank you. I can join you on your way to Europe.”
So we went along the Silk Road. Along the way we talked about his travels around Asia. Marco also told me about Venice and his family. I asked him about the mission he was doing for Kublai Khan, his face turned dark. He said nothing.
After many months, we finally arrived to Europe. Even though we were thirsty and hungry, I couldn’t forget the question about Kublai Khan. After that day, I never saw Marco again; he became a great explorer but forgot all about me. That question haunts me, for I will never know the truth. That remains my biggest question.
THIRD PLACE: Diya Jalan, Grade 2, SJIIS, Singapore, 8 years old
Readers will recall that Diya has been a finalist in two of my previous competitions. Here she has written a very neat little story about silk-weaving on the Silk Road, with five Wicked Words used correctly – well done Diya!
On the Silk Road
Long long ago there was a girl named Chang. Chang was a beautiful young girl who was kind, considerate, wholehearted and helpful. One day her mother who dearly took care of her precious Chang fell ill. She always combed Chang’s hair, showered her in lavender scented water and dressed her in lovely pink clothes. They called specialists and the best doctors but none of them had a cure. One day Chang’s mother died.
While Chang’s father worked hard on the Silk Road all he could afford was to buy a small hut. It was after all Chang’s mom who weaved the beautiful silk and earned the riches. All that went in their tummy now was a few rice grains, which they made into a watery porridge for each meal.
One day Chang decided to help her father on the Silk Road. When she walked through the gate she was amazed. They were so well organized. There was a silkworm corner. There was also a weaving corner and even a dyeing corner. There was even a camel with 5 humps in the middle that could hold 5 people.
Chang’s father headed to the weeding corner. Chang went to the weaving corner and wove and wove fastidiously until 5:00. She showed the Silk Road manager the silk she had done. There were so many beautiful, resplendent patterns that as soon as he glanced at them his jaw dropped. He said that the silk was splendiferous. The next thing he said was she was hired. When Chang told her father the news he said a miracle had happened. He was filled with joy.
Two weeks later Chang had worked in every corner everyday. She had become the most illustrious silk weaver on the Silk Road with people from Turkey asking for her work. Now they were the richest people in the world!!!! They ate sumptuous food, lived in a pink mansion and she wore a pink cheongsam to work daily. And they never were unhappy again.
FOURTH PLACE: Belle Chang, Grade 3, Kellett School, Hong Kong, 8 years old
Congratulations to Belle on a terrific effort in a difficult competition! The beginning was great, but be careful to pay a little more attention to your ending next time!
Silk Road Story
Long, long ago there lived a foreigner named Siu Ming who came to visit China from Africa. He thought that crossing the Silk Road would be easy and so he set off in search of the Silk Road.
The minute Siu Ming strode onto the Silk Road, he saw a huge pandemonium right before his eyes! Suddenly, he spotted a camel seller nearby selling the most precious camels in all of China, the camel seller was selling five hump camels! Siu Ming immediately reached for his wallet, but he discovered that his wallet wasn’t in its usual spot in his back pocket! Siu Ming suddenly remembered that he hadn’t packed his back pack for his long trip.
Immediately Siu Ming rushed back to his hotel to start packing his bags. When Siu Ming got to his hotel room he started rummaging through his chests full of splendiferous collections of robot toys, his old play mats and so on. Finally he found his collection of water and brought with him 33 bottles of water. Siu Ming found his wallet hiding behind the dusty, disintegrating and old closet. Finally he set off again in search of the five hump pink camel seller.
When Siu Ming got to the Silk Road, he immediately saw the camel seller walking towards a group of travellers. As Siu Ming sped towards Chong Lee the camel seller on his tricycle, he didn’t realise that the group of travellers were spying on him and were plotting to kidnap him and to steal all his priceless treasures! When Chong Lee saw Siu Ming coming he cried “Cousin! How lovely to see you! I didn’t know that you came all the way to China from Africa!” “Please may I buy a five hump camel from you?” Asked Siu Ming. “Oh, yes you can buy a camel from me my dear cousin, in fact you can have one for free because you are my cousin!” Said Chong Lee cheerfully.
When Siu Ming rode on Lightning, the camel, Lightning reared making Siu Ming cling onto his mane.
By the time Siu Ming reached Antioch in Turkey, the weather was very windy and it was raining. Suddenly, four people popped out in front of him! “Excuse me but could you move please?” Siu Ming asked politely. But instead of moving they grabbed onto his shirt collar! “Give us all your treasures NOW!” Said the first. “No I will not give them to you!” Siu Ming shouted back.
As the four figures dragged Siu Ming to their secret cavern Siu Ming quickly dialled 999 on his mobile phone while the four people were busy dragging him inside the secret cavern.
Meanwhile Lightning the five hump pink camel was busy searching for Chong Lee on the Silk Road. On the Silk Road Chong Lee was wondering how it was going for his cousin At the cavern Siu Ming had managed to get out of the cavern by rubbing the ropes the four people had used to tie up Siu Ming against some sharp rocks that were nearby that was barely in reach.
Soon Siu Ming had tied the four people who had tried to kidnap him like a Christmas present! Siu Ming had also handed the four kidnapers who had kidnapped him to the police!
After Siu Ming had a shower in his hotel room he went down to the royal banquet room dressed in a neatly ironed suit to eat dinner with his cousin and his son and his wife. As soon as they finished dinner, Siu Ming went back up to his hotel room to change into a t-shirt and shorts to get ready for the barbeque up next and to eat roasted marshmallows in the outdoor garden. When Siu Ming reached for his clothes, his clothes was tantalised!
But, he didn’t know that the four people that had tried to kidnap him had put a spell on him! Every night at exactly nine o clock he would turn invisible and the spell would last up to three in the morning! Even worse, the spell will only stop when he reaches the age of eighty five. What a horrible and terrifying experience on the Silk Road!!
FIFTH PLACE: Jared Hongyi Xin, Grade 3, Shatin Junior School, Hong Kong, 7 years old
Well done to Jared, the only boy who entered this category, and only 7 years old. This was a terrific effort but please be careful how and when you use those Wicked Words next time!
The Bomb
In 1940, the Silk Road was found and it was a trading route again. The president of China found out that Americans are trading drugs for pink silk. So the president thought. aha! The president’s got a plan, a cunning plan……So things got into action. the President has put a bomb inside the pink silk. The line was out. Just think what will happen when the Americans pull it…………….BLAM!!!!
So on that same day, 9:00a.m ,the sides met. They nearly trade their thing but an ear-splitting crash! From a falling camel. That camel was ok, it was a Bacterian camel. The camel choose to be on China’s side because of silk. The camel said :”wow! Astonishing! Remarkable! The silk is so beautiful!” to the Chinese soldier .Then the camel skipped off behind the Chinese soldier. So they handed each other treasures. The Chinese soldier said :”take it. Open it. Its good, you know, pink link drink.”
“really?” The American traders asked.
“yes! Open it with the line!” The Chinese soldier screeched. So the Americans did.
Ssssssssssssssssssss………The soldier ran, leaving the camel behind. The American traders were dead, but not this little camel. The camel was injured, two humps in the sand. lots of sand gathered and made 3 hump shapes and stuck onto the camel and the sand became strong as concrete. When the camel came out of the sand, he looked at his back, and he saw 3 EXTRA HUMPS! The camel was so shocked that he fainted. When he woke up, he saw foot prints. He found his way to the Chinese base camp. He shouted:”I’m an Idiosyncrazy! Right? Right? I’m illustrious! Right? Right? I’m Iridescence!”
“Oh, forget it! Stop showing off!” shouted a Chinese soldier.
“Hey, is anybody going to ride on me? The camel cried with tears in his eyes.
“I would” said the soldier who traded the silk.
Then he was like walking in heaven, as free as a bird. THEN, they all went to war. The little camel was interested about war, World war2. So he skipped into the battle field and the camel was shocked. Guns firing people dying, ugh! An soldier in front of the camel has died. So the camel got the gun, the camel closed his eyes, got that machine-gun and fought! After 10 minutes, the camel ran to the stable and talked about life with the horses.
After five years, China won! It was a pleasure. The camel jumped around with joy.
One day the camel went for a walk and saw some food from a tree and charged up to it and ate it. Then, he got lost. Knowing this street was stranger street, he galloped to the forest. Then he met an Chinese soldier walking in the woods. The soldier said to go to his house he was actually a stranger. So the camel followed, wondering if he would get a gift. Oh! he was a butcher and he is ready to kill him for food. So the camel kick and struggled and then, the camel bit the line and kicked the butcher. ”How dare you try to kill me and eat me?! The camel ran away as fast as he can, trying to find the base. Then the camel jumped and saw a horse, which was his roommate,
Told him directions to go to lovely old base. The camel went to see the silk road but it’s too late.
There was a hole- it was where the bomb exploded. Then the camel went to sleep with his back in the air – having 5 humps are good after all!
YEAR 4 to 6 CATEGORY
What a fantastic response I got from students and their teachers in this category! Special mention must be made of the staff and kids of Year 5 Discovery College Hong Kong: I believe every student took part – well done all of you! I hope you had a lot of fun learning about the fabulous Silk Road and its glorious history! You certainly had me working hard…and here are the top five stories, with 5 Honourable Mentions at the end! Wicked Words are printed in bold itallics.
FIRST PLACE: Rohan Munro Williamson, Grade 5, Discovery College, 9 years old
Congratulations to Rohan for his standout entry, set at the time of the Knights Templar in the Middle Ages. He is obviously a budding historian, with a keen eye for detail. I thought his story was very well-written, with a fantastic beginning, a cracking good pace, an excellent structure, and a really original take on the Five Humped Camel theme! I look forward to reading more of his work in future competitions.
The Construct And The Silk Road
“…The 5th were hard pushed! General Tiberius was determined to exonerate the legion after our last humiliating defeat but the mountain tribes forced us back. In desperation the Dwarven engineers were called upon to work their magic and activated the construct. The metal Camel’s giant mouth opened, the clicking of its jaws grating, and then it spat out a horrifying jet of flame. The flame was white hot and disintegrated the front ranks of the enemy. It caused pandemonium…” General Cornelius Fuscus, Legio quinta Alaudae
Olivier de la Croix turned around one more time, after looking at his map. It contained no symbols – just a quote! Olivier saw a beautiful pink sunset, which reminded him of his other group members, as he was the last. They had travelled together on the Silk Road, but his other group members died on the way. However, they managed to bring him to the end of the Silk Road, in Constantinople. They had started in Dunhuang, all of them had died in Antioch, and Olivier was the only one who survived. He kissed his Saint Christopher necklace, crossed his heart in the shape of the cross and then the Templar quickly turned around, snuck into the staircase, and started working his way down.
While Olivier was walking down the staircase, he looked at the stairs and noticed beautiful symbols carved into the walls by Dwarves before leaving many centuries ago. Then suddenly, something caught his eye. On one of the walls, he saw a word in Latin, carved into the great Lapis Lazuli walls. It said “ASCORDIAN”!
Continuing carefully into the darkness, Olivier edged his way forward, unable to see in the growing shadows. He had butterflies inside his stomach, as if something was definitely wrong. He stepped forward on a crumbling tile, slipping slightly on the dusty floor. Suddenly, he fell as he tried to catch himself, banging his head hard against the cold stone rock as he tumbled downwards. Behind him, the sound of a deep rumbling noise echoed on the staircase. Then everything was silent.
In fear, the Templar Knight looked around. He had fallen into a very big chamber. At the end of the giant room, there were two red lights, glowing. As he got closer, he saw a huge head, with clicking sounds as a giant mouth started grating, open. There was a great, booming shriek from the creature, as it jumped up, torches being lit around the room at once, activating themselves. Then Olivier saw the creature. The legends were true, as he was standing face to face with a 5-humped construction, of a giant camel!
Olivier stuck up his shield, just in time to deflect a burning hot jet of flame. It deflected into one of the lapis lazuli walls. Olivier recovered quickly, as he had his shield up at the ready, and waited for the construct to fire back! But it didn’t. It just spoke, in a very deep voice.
“Well, well, well, a Templar! I heard you come in. You were sent here on a mission to Constantinople at the end of the Silk Road to find and destroy me? You are not welcome!”
Olivier did not respond. Instead he grabbed his sword and got ready to strike. The construct spat out another jet of flame, which the Templar only just deflected. But Olivier noticed something different about the camel. He looked closer, and then he saw it. The Construct didn’t have 5 humps anymore – it just had 3!
Each was only one slip from death. Olivier was exhausted as time and time again he avoided the deadly camel…
The camel only had 1 hump left. In desperation, it charged forward biting hard on Olivier’s shoulder, making a huge rip, which made the Templar scream in agony and drop his sword.
It looked as if Olivier was going to die, with no hope of rescue. Ascordian was starting to crumble, after all the deflected white jets of flame. Finally, the construct crouched over the defeated Knight knowing it had won. It spat out one final flame, but this time, Olivier couldn’t deflect it. The heat, like lava burnt him. The fearless man didn’t have the energy to scream but incredibly he gasped and stood. Then, the Templar felt a warm power on his chest spread through his body. He thought he was hallucinating, but then he realised it was coming from his Saint Christopher. He started feeling stronger. He could hear his heart pounding, and he could breathe more easily. And best of all – his wounds were healing.
The construct was silent. At first, Olivier thought it was just tired, as he knew himself that he was feeling the same. But then he realised why – the construct had no more humps left, which meant that it couldn’t go on. It had to give in. It was no longer the 5th legion’s destroyer. The illustrious mechanical beast was dead!
Olivier smiled with relief. The Templar knew that had been the most difficult fight he had ever been in. He turned around to leave, and as he left the chamber, the torches deactivated themselves, as the room was once again, completely dark!
He was about half way up the staircase when he started to feel Ascordian shake. Then, the rumbling started as he could tell this time, that if he didn’t get out of there in seconds, he was probably going to die. Olivier dashed up the staircase as he was terrified, but knew he could still do it. He could see the starlight as he ran out and burst into the night lit sky, and looked for somewhere to protect himself. He saw a tree and threw himself at it, diving for cover. BANG…
Ascordian had been ripped to pieces, with remains of the construct everywhere, as Olivier stood to tell the world he was the man, who destroyed the Roman construct!
SECOND PLACE: Mary-Anne Ko, Grade 4, Shatin Junior School, 8 years old
Mary-Anne is a very talented young story-teller, and I was not surprised to find (after using my rather complex marking scheme) that she placed second amongst a large group of older students! I thought that her story demonstrated real skill, with a fluent style and careful attention to structure. I also loved the story itself! Well done Mary-Anne and keep on writing!
The Camel on the Silk Road
Have you ever seen a camel with 5 humps? No, well neither have I. Read on and let your imagination whisk you towards the desert where the camel with 5 humps can be found.
“They say that if you travel along the Silk Road into the Lopnor Desert, a magical animal will help you.” Qing was a young boy and he was sitting with his brother Ling listening to their mother speak. “If you…”
Qing cut his mother short and asked, “What sort of animal is the magical one?” Mother shook her head. “I really don’t know. Listen!” she whispered. “If you go past the Lopnor Desert, you will reach a land filled with treasure. I hear that the mellifluous water in this land is made of gold”.
Ling’s eyes widened. Father finished off the story, “and the trees in this land are the pinkest in the world.” Qing put down his chopsticks, gulped down his food, and dreamed of this wonderful land.
Four years later when he was 14 years old, Qing wrote a note, left it on the table, took his bag and sneaked off into the night. He mounted his horse and galloped off. He first headed towards the Yellow River, collected some water and then rode towards the Lopnor desert.
Two weeks later his horse lay on the desert floor too weak to carry him. Qing tore out some cactus flesh and began to drink from it. The young boy heard a pounding of feet. A camel! The animal was gorgeous with those beautiful long eyelashes, and an omniscient glint in her eye, but what amazed Qing most was her resplendent 5 humps. Wait! Qing had never heard of a camel with 5 humps. This must be the magical animal which his mother had spoken about. Qing struggled up onto the camel’s back and whispered softly in her ear.
“Ow!” cried Qing as a sand storm blew wildly about him. The Taklamakan Desert sure was a dry, sandy place. The camel galloped on and on. As the storm died down, Qing found himself in a beautiful place. Gold glittered everywhere. Jewels and gemstones were scattered all over the place. Qing saw there was a river with gold nuggets at the bottom of it. Wow! The trees had the pinkest cherry blossoms Qing had ever seen but what Qing saw that amazed him the most was a girl.
“Hi!” the girl smiled. She took some treasure and put them in a platinum box. “What kind of metal is this?” Qing asked. “Platinum”, smiled the girl. “Take whatever you need and stay for as long as you want” the girl added. “I’m Lai,” she said at last. Lai’s hair swayed. “Thanks”, Qing murmured. Qing stayed for some weeks in the land of treasure and during those days Lai showed Qing around her favourite places.
When Qing’s proud horse was strong enough to get back on its hooves, Qing decided that it was time to get moving. Qing told Lai that he was going home. Lai politely asked Qing to wait for a couple of minutes. Lai returned with something cupped in her hands. Qing saw that it was a piece of green jade! But not just any ordinary jade, this one had a dragon carved on it! Qing nodded his head in thanks then mounted his horse.
Qing waved good bye to Lai. His horse started to gallop. “Stop!” Qing ordered. His horse stopped. Lai and the camel came up to Qing. Qing patted the camel and muttered “Stay with Lai you cheeky camel.” Lai walked towards Qing and whispered to him, “Every full moon make sure this jade is close to your heart then when you sleep we can communicate with each other through your dreams.” The camel grinned cheekily!
Qing waved goodbye once more and set off on the long journey back. Qing’s horse raced along the path that wound up between the tall mountains. Qing took his jade out of his pocket and flipped it over. He noticed that not only was there a dragon carved on it but a girl too! He realized that this was the story of the dragon and the girl!
The story of the dragon and the girl
Long ago there was a dragon called Qing. When he raced towards the island of paradise he met a girl. Qing the dragon didn’t realize that the girl was a Chinese goddess. Qing and the paradise girl stayed together for a while but had to separate all too soon. The girl swore that they would meet again but as the days went by they never met, never. But they never forgot each other, never.
As Qing passed the Yellow-river he didn’t bother to have a drink of the sweet water. His horse raced down towards Qing’s home. They arrived home! Qing’s family was so happy. They spent time with him the whole day laughing together as Qing told them his story.
When night fell the moon was full! Ling and Qing were in their bedroom trying to sleep, Qing made sure the jade was close to his heart. “See you tonight Lai”. Qing thought. Slowly, Qing drifted off into sleep.
When Qing opened his eyes mist swirled around his feet. There was a girl beside him holding his hand. Lai! Qing realized. Lai nodded her head then started her sentence, “Will you dream with me of the adventures yet to come along the Silk Road?” Lai asked, her black eyes glittering in the moonlight. “I’m ready to dream with you.” Qing replied with a soft smile on his face.
THIRD PLACE: Chad Rossouw, Grade 5, Discovery College, 10 years old
Chad’s story is rollicking good fun, with a really clever take on the five-humped camel theme incorporation the five elements, and some good research. I love the title too! Well done Chad, and keep up the good work!
Penta-Hump Magic
Peter and Mollie were nervous. They thought that going exploring was a good idea but never anticipated the unruly crowd their blonde hair would attract at the Forbidden City. It was July 2010 and Peter and Mollie had just moved to Beijing. 12 year old Peter was tall for his age with piercing blue eyes and a heart for adventure. His 8 year old sister, Mollie, was energetic, fun and bubbly with excitement. Peter noticed a kind looking man beckoning to them. Peter grabbed Mollie’s hand and ran to him.
The man introduced himself as Mr. Fong. He had dark hair, a hunched back, and a huge smile. He explained that he was a magician and had been separated from his most valued friend, a 5-humped camel named Freddy. They had spent centuries magically restoring places along the Silk Road, but some awful men had stolen Freddy. He asked a fortuneteller for help but was given this riddle:
“The Forbidden City will reveal a pair,
With blue eyes and golden hair.
They are destined for a ride,
To return your camel to your side.”
“Please help?” Mr. Fong asked. “I have these lapis lazuli stones to buy Freddy and my magic can provide the transport. How do you feel about riding on a tornado?”
The kids happily agreed. They had to go to Kashgar, more than 2000 miles away. The Sunday Market there was advertising a five-humped camel that could only be Freddy. The sky turned pink, a whirlwind stirred and they held hands tightly as the tornado lifted them into the sky.
Soon they landed on a roof in the Kashgar Sunday market. It was incredibly noisy! There was music, shouting and horns beeping. Mollie grinned and started dancing but Peter knew there was no time to waste. He immediately started looking for Freddy. From the roof they spotted the animal section in the market.
They slid down the drainpipe and zigzagged through the stalls until they reached the animals. It smelt terrible and it was hot and crowded. This was not a place to come for a holiday! They pushed past a large crowd and saw the five-humped camel! Each hump had an unusual symbol on it. Peter realized the symbols were that of the elements: Water, Air, Fire, Earth and Metal. Many people were trying to buy the camel but it was not for sale.
The children also tried to persuade the caretaker, but she was being very intransigent until they showed her the five lapis lazuli stones. The stones looked splendiferous, and her eyes shone with greed. She accepted the stones and they led the camel away.
Around the corner, Freddy startled them by speaking! “I hated being trapped in that atrocious prison. Thanks for getting me out of there. I know you are curious about the symbols on my humps. I use these to restore ancient wonders, but I have to return to Mr. Fong to replenish whatever element I’ve used. Let’s have the tornado take us to Turpan so we can restore the Karez water system!”
When they arrived in Turpan, Freddy immediately started digging. He would need to get into the underground tunnels to repair them. He summoned the power of the “Earth” element and the symbol on his hump started glowing with power. The children were mesmerized as they watched how his hooves moved the Earth, scooping it out in great chunks.
While he was digging he explained that Turpan was the hottest place in China. The ancient people of Turpan had built the Karez irrigation system to filter the melted snow downhill from the mountains to the village. Within minutes, all they could see was a huge hole leading down to the tunnels of the system and they dropped down the hole. Walking along the river, they noticed large chunks of rock that had fallen from the sides of the tunnel and into the steam. The water was blocked in a number of places and the stream was down to a trickle of water.
Mollie suggested using the power of “Metal” to reinforce the sides of the tunnels. Once again Freddy’s hump started glowing and immediately the strands of metal started threading themselves along the length of the tunnel, clearing rocks along the way and forming a new path free of obstructions.
It was time to fly back to the Forbidden City and find Mr. Fong. When they arrived, Peter smelt smoke. The city was on fire! Alarms were blaring and there was lots of coughing as the wave of mass destruction danced across the city. Flames jumped over bridges and got to every corner of the city. It was the most terrifying thing they had ever seen. Mr. Fong was desperately trying to use his power to douse the flames, but he needed their help! They formed a plan; Mollie would go and help Mr. Fong evacuate the city, while Peter and Freddy would battle the fire.
Peter decided they could use the “Water” element to douse the roaring flames that were burning through the city. He summoned the tornado again and flew high above the city with Freddy, who made it rain so hard that it put out every last piece of flaming wood. As the last flames were snuffed out, they returned. The city was saved but Mollie was pointing to the people who were all gasping for breath from the overwhelming smoke. They needed fresh air! Together, Mr. Fong and Freddy used the “Air” element to clear away the polluted air.
There was one element left. It was time to celebrate! Freddy’s hump lit up as he hurled a huge fireball into the sky and it exploded like a million fireworks! Everyone cheered.
Mr. Fong thanked Peter and Molly and gave them golden pendants to remember their magical adventure. The next morning they woke up wondering if it had all been a dream, but then saw the pendants on their nightstands and smiled.
FOURTH PLACE: Jay Haddow, Grade 5, Discovery College, 10 years old
Jay has an interesting, rather matter of fact and descriptive writing style, quite different to all the other entries. I was impressed that he was able to maintain the present tense throughout without any mistakes (not easy to accomplish) and I enjoyed his descriptions of characters and places. Well done Jay!
The curse on the Silk Road
A small village in the snowy and treacherous mountains of North China has three precious stones that the villagers believe have special powers that protect the village from sickness.
One night, somebody sneaks into the village and steals the three precious stones. The next morning, the village elder, an old yet wise man, discovers that the stones have gone and informs the villagers. The villagers are now extremely scared and desperate to find the stones, but no-one knows what happened. There is only one clue. A little boy who could not sleep saw a strange man riding a 5 humped camel.
A few days later, something terrible happens. A few of the villagers start getting sick. The village elder decides to make the long journey down the mountains to the local market town to try and find help. He uses his horse to travel, and carries gold and silver to trade for help.
He arrives to find out that a large caravan of 40 camels has just arrived and started unloading their goods from their camels and setting up their camp. The village elder approaches carefully and asks one of the men if he could meet the caravan boss.
The village elder is taken to meet the caravan boss, a large, tall man and the village elder explains what happened and begs for their help. He has a soft, mellifluous voice. Tears start rolling down his face. He offers gold and silver and more if he can help find the precious stones and lift the curse on his village.
He tells them that one of the stones is a very rare pink diamond, and that they only have one clue about the person who may have stolen the stones and that someone saw a man traveling fast on a 5 humped camel. The caravan boss agrees to help and takes the gold and silver. He gives some gold to his guide, a short, fat man with a scary looking face. The guide is told to share the gold with other guides in the town to try and find out any information.
The next day is very busy. The market is full of people trading. The caravan boss and guide are trading their goods – mint for silk, silver and gold for camels. Suddenly a man approaches the guide and asks to speak with him. He tells him he saw a 5 humped camel traveling east.
They finish trading and decide to camp the night before leaving the next day.
The next day, they pack up three camels, and trek east. After many hours, they reach a small oasis, like a diamond in the middle of the desert with a shimmering small lake and beautiful green palm trees. As they are resting, they meet a large caravan heading west. They ask the boss if they have seen a caravan with a 5 humped camel. He says yes, it is heading to Karakorum.
They know they are close. They leave the oasis and start heading towards Karakorum. Many hours later, they arrive in a small village to rest from the searing heat and discover the 5 humped camel in a small caravan.
Next to the caravan is a large tent. With no-one around, the caravan boss and guide enter quietly. The owner of the 5 humped camel is sitting down on his own drinking mint tea. He was a tall, skinny man with a nervous look.
They introduce themselves and ask him about the village and the stones. He says he does not know, but he looks very nervous and does not look at them directly. They decide to leave, but realize that something isn’t right.
That night they decide to go back and find the stones. A cold wind is blowing, and the night sky is clear. The moon is glistening and the stars are shining. Everyone is sleeping, they look everywhere but they cannot find the stones. They see the 5 humped camel sleeping. They have never seen a 5 humped camel, and so they go closer, careful not to make any sound.
They look at the camel suspiciously. “Yes it has 5 humps but 3 are not real” says the caravan boss. They look like humps but they are camouflaged hiding places. Inside they find lots of precious stones, gold, jade, and the 3 stones including the rare and amazing pink diamond.
They gather up all the stones and gold, return to their caravan, and disappear into the night. They travel fast, going back west through the oasis and back to the market town.
They reach the town and decide to then make the difficult trek to the village in the mountains. When they arrive, the village elder is waiting for them along with all the villagers.
They hand over the three stones, and everyone cheers and hugs the two men. The village elder is ecstatic. Now it is time to celebrate. The caravan boss and his guide are now the village elder’s guests and that night, they arrange a sumptuous feast for them.
FIFTH PLACE: Hillary Lo, Grade 5, Shatin Junior School, 9 years old
Regular contest entrant and oft-times place winner Hillary has once again demonstrated her writing talent in this rather sweet and whimsical tale of an evil Empress and a jealous camel. Hillary is living proof that the more you enter writing competitions, the better your writing gets! But take care with those Wicked Words next time Hillary – the usage is just a little bit strained sometimes.
The True Treasure Of The Silk Road
“Li Ching,” a soft voice began, “Haul that tent over here, then you can take Coco by the reins.” Her sister Li Yan bent over the stone in front of her and trembled, as cold as ice. Li Ching paused. “No, it’s fine, Coco is as gentle as a lamb, so don’t you fret, Li Yan.”
Li Ching dropped Coco’s reins, and rushed over to Li Yan. Li Yan looked really peeky and wasn’t as cheerful as she was supposed to be. Her eyes were blank and tears were gushing out of them, and Li Ching was mopping her up, staring straight into her eyes, as red as bloodshot. Li Yan was as stiff as a board, though her eyes were shining with effervescence. “Oh, Li Ching!” exclaimed Li Yan, “Look!” She turned her gaze to where Li Yan was pointing at, led Coco to it as he started neighing. There, on the sandy floor was a pink jade bracelet, resplendent with its beads glinting, as clear as a crystal.
“Li Yan! Wow, look at the iridescence of this bracelet!” Li Ching fumbled about in her pocket, fished out a purple tissue with some flowers drawn in gold. She scooped up the bracelet, cupped in her other hand, and slid it onto the tissue. “You’re copacetic, Li Yan!” Li Yan was proud of her sister’s praise. She smiled weakly at Li Ching and sat on the tent, hesitating. “Li Ching, I think we should keep on moving, I’m not tired!” Li Yan stood up, followed by Coco and Li Ching as they waded through the darkness. They walked through a sandy area, stones scraping at their soft feet and they tiptoed towards the end until they had blood trickling down their small feet.
“AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!” the voice sounded throughout the empty desert, turning people as deaf as a post.
Li Yan and Li Ching were shivering. Even Coco was alarmed. The two sisters were ineffable, bewildered at the sight of a five hump camel, trudging towards them. “Hello, am I too late? I see you have already picked up the pink jade bracelet!” the camel chuckled and turned serious again. Li Yan and Li Ching blushed. “Hi, we are Li Yan and Li Ching. What’s your name, you big beast?” The camel smiled kindly and affectionately. “Oh yes, they call me Long.” he flashed them a mysterious look and explained when he saw their blank looks. “Don’t you know anything, Le Chang and Le Yam?” he asked curiously. “It’s Li Yan and Li Ching!” corrected Li Ching, as they doubled up.
“Yes, anyway, I’ll tell you the story. I belonged to an emperor called Emperor Qian, and I was his beloved, until he married Empress Ki. She hated the very sight of me, and she constructed the Silk Road to send me away in return for some sashes, bracelets and silk. She ordered and demanded the chancellors under her to throw me to the western side and exchange for some silk dresses. Emperor Qian helped me escape, but he inadvertently slipped on the sand, and sadly he passed away. The empress wears a jade bracelet, and it is pretty, but full of power. If the bracelet is here, the Empress is settling in nearby, and EMPRESS spells trouble.” Long finished his sentence with an edge to it.
“Long, what should we do with bracelet? What? What?” Li Yan asked, eager to stop this trouble. Long was as cool as cucumber. He gave the girls a grin, and said, “Easy! Throw that bracelet out and catch the mischievous woman!”
Li Ching winced as the pink bracelet fell to the ground, shattered in a million little pieces! Coco was lackadaisical, not even caring. A nearby figure broke down, unconscious. Li Ching and Li Yan inspected her. “But she’s so attractive, Long!” squealed the two sisters in unison.
“Of course she’s a darling as pretty as a picture outside, but look inside!” Long paused and snorted, “Black heart with no beauty in it! Her brains are not working and she is intransigent to the emperor, even if she acts all sweet girly charm sometimes.” Long finished his sentence, as a tear rolled down his cheek. “I really adored Emperor Qian! Why did that innocent little thing have to steal him away!” Long whispered, as he looked down.
The whole troupe went to the mountainside, and slowly comforted Long. “Doesn’t mean you don’t have any people who still adore you, Long!” Li Yan exclaimed, braiding a complicated pattern with long strings of grass she brought. She handed it to Long and Long laughed his Long kind of laugh happily.
Suddenly, an old woman in a patterned dress walked slowly over to Long and broke the laughter and happiness. She patted Long’s five humps and smiled. “You, you, have defended the empress of China. I am a woman as old as the hills with rubbish in my head, but in my memory you are the hero!” she hugged Long and laughed as he nuzzled her ear.
“Bye, my dears! We have to go now!” the old lady introduced herself as Gale and said farewell to Li Ching, Li Yan and Coco. Long trooped by her side eagerly as the lady promised she would feed him sacks of food and provide his dream home for him.
Li Yan and Li Ching, ignoring all the blisters on their feet walked bare-footed, and gracefully danced down the road. Li Ching stepped on something silky and smooth. She picked it up and found it was a pink silk scarf embroidered with silver petals. In the distance, Long was screaming, “For you!” and the two girls grinned. “YOU’RE THE REAL TREASURE, MY LONG!” they said in unison.
“You know, Li Ching, life is wonderful and full of mysteries!” Li Yan drew an imaginary silk scarf in the bright blue sky. Slowly, the sisters’ smiles died with the sun…
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Congratulations to the following five writers, who all receive an Honourable Mention in this category. I hope to see much more of their writing in future competitions. Listed in order of merit they are:
Juliet Koung, Grade 5, Discovery College, Hong Kong, 10 years old;
David Yan, Grade 4, Shanghai United International School Hongqiao Campus, 10 years old;
Adrian Wong, Grade 5, Discovery College, Hong Kong, 10 years old;
Maelee Baron, Grade 5, Discovery College, Hong Kong, 10 years old;
Janet Hu, Grade 4, Shanghai United International School, 9 years old.
COMPETITION NO. 23: AN ODE TO MY FAVOURITE TREE
What a lovely time I’ve had judging this competition! You all obviously love trees just as much as I do, and it was such a treat to read about your favourites. There were so many different species: fruit trees like apple, mango, cherry and lemon; old classics like ash, oak, pine, willow and weeping birch; Asian species including palm, banyan and Bonsai trees; and my Aussie favourites, the Jacarandah, the gum and the ancient Wollombi Pine. There was even a family tree! And they were all such beautiful things, full of ancient wisdom and comfort. I feel like hugging a tree right now! The poems were very clever too and I was so impressed by the effort that all the writers made. There was everything from acrostics, rhyming couplets, diamond poems, and free verse; there was even a fun limerick!
The entries came from a whopping 20 schools in 7 different cities on 4 different continents! In Hong Kong SAR: American International School, Australian International School, Christian Alliance International School, Diocesan Girls Junior School, French International School, German Swiss International School, The Kellett School, Kennedy School, The Peak School, Shatin Junior School and Yew Chung International School; in Shanghai: British International School, Puxi and Shanghai United International School; in Singapore: St Joseph’s Institution International School; in Melbourne: Geelong Grammar Junior School, Methodist Ladies College and St Joseph’s Malvern; in Sydney: Kambala Girls School; in the UK: Great Missenden School, Buckinghamshire and in the United States: Greenlake Elementary School, Washington.
Remember I was looking for great vocabulary, a fantastic writing style, a vivid description, original ideas, real imagination and creativity. Above all I wanted your poem to make me FEEL something.
I loved reading all the entries, but there were some real standouts, and here they are:
YEAR 1 TO 3 CATEGORY
FIRST PLACE: Sonia Mei Husain, Year 3, British International School Shanghai (Puxi), 7 years old
Congratulations to Sonia for her beautiful poem about the Tree of Life. At just 7 years of age, I thought her poem was a fantastic effort. I loved the gentle reflectiveness of her verse, and she made an excellent effort to rhyme most of her couplets. As first place winner in her section, Sonia wins a free signed copy of one of my books!
My Tree of Life
My tree of life is an ancient tree
From living so many years before me
Lovely tree, mother tree
Better tree than other trees
Raising hatchlings, taking care
Giving shelter and spoiling me
My tree of life is what you see
From outer space, trees are free
And deep in ground you see the roots reaching deep
My tree of life is a look out tree
If I get lost, my tree is with me.
My tree of life never sleeps
It never tires while I weep
My tree of life loves me so
It watches out for me from head to toe
The tree of life is just like you and me
SECOND PLACE: Anjali Rungta, Grade 3, American International School, Hong Kong, 7 years old
Readers will remember that Anjali also came second in this section in my last Silk Road Story Competition! This time she has done it again, with her witty and very original rhyming verse, in which she cleverly managed to correctly use 8 of the Wicked Words from my Wicked Word page on my blog, just for fun!
The Apple Tree
There once was a magnanimous tree that stood out from a group of trees,
It swayed back and forth to the breeze.
Then came the voracious storm,
Which caused the land to reform.
Except that one tree, all the trees shivered with fear,
But all was calm when passed by a deer.
She had a mellifluous voice and her eyes were filled with warmth,
But out of the blue came riding past the resplendent King Edward the fourth.
His arrows were drawn upon the noble animal,
When suddenly the tree sheltered the animal with its arms, which was very radical.
The tree stood bold in front of the armed king,
Then suddenly the king felt a sting.
Then realized this was no ordinary tree,
This was the God’s Apple Tree with a big Queen Bee.
King Edward bowed and asked to be exonerated from the atrocious crime he had foolishly committed,
Edward’s pandemonium nature was graciously forgiven by the illustrious Apple Tree.
THIRD PLACE: Ashling Walshe, Grade 3, Shanghai United International School, Shanghai, 8 years old
Well done Ashling for this neat rhyming verse about a tree in winter. I especially loved the “radiating glow”:
My Winter Tree
My tree is cloaked with snow
I love its radiating glow
It looks at me
I smile with glee
It waves its arms
Like dangling crystal charms
It tells me a little story
Full of winter glory
I give it a huge hug in return
And have no worry for the ferns
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Diya Jalan, Grade 3, St Joseph’s Institution International School, Singapore, 8 years old
Diya is a regular entrant in my Clever Competitions. Here is her entertaining poem about a most unusual Pandemonium Tree:
The Pandemonium Tree
Tree stands there waiting.
Days pass nothing,
But wait is that a squirrel scurrying up the tree.
Tree sways along happily,
But that¹s not all, no it isn’t.
SSSSSSS! Is that Mr. Snake slithering up tree?
Now pecan
Here comes toucan
But that¹s not all no it isn¹t!
Is that a monkey?
Ape and frog
Termite army and the army of ants
Is that a sparrow and a parrot there?
My favourite tree is a complete pandemonium.
Rose Lyden, Year 2, The Peak School, Hong Kong, 5 years old
Rose is only 5 years old, so I thought that her acrostic poem was very clever indeed for her age. Keep up the good work, Rose!
I Love Trees
I like climbing trees
Lovely and warm
Only trees are nice
Very comforting
Entertain you when you’re sad
They say ‘hello’ with their branches
Really happy when I see them
Excellent help when you are hot
Every day they are here
Sometimes I run around them
YEAR 4 TO 6 CATEGORY
FIRST PLACE: Jemma Julian, Grade 4 to 5, homeschooling, Sydney, NSW, Australia, 9 years old
Jemma is being home-schooled in Sydney, and I’m willing to bet from the lovely imagination, deeply poetic sensibility and evocative words in her poem that Jenna is a very BIG reader, and that she often reads under her favourite tree! I especially love the verb “loll” and her simile about the seed “fragile as spider’s web”. Well done Jenna – as First Place winner in this category, you win a free, signed copy of one of my books! Keep on writing!
My Jacarandah Tree
As I jump over your lilac flowers,
The bees loll, drunk on your nectar.
I feel your soft smooth bark
As I climb up to my favourite bough.
Leaves flow, gently down,
Onto the soft carpet of leaves and flowers.
I sense your breathing, through the leaves.
Your sigh when the wind comes.
So long ago you were a seed,
As fragile as spider’s web,
But now you’re as tough as steel.
Oh how I love you Jacarandah tree.
SECOND PLACE: Kristina Akova, Year 4, German-Swiss International School, Hong Kong, 9 years old
Kristina has written an outstanding acrostic poem here, which is a very mature effort for her age. Acrostic poems aren’t always easy or simple; look at the fantastic word pictures Kristina paints, with her “explosion of leaves”, “terrific root labyrinth” and “extensive shade”. I also loved her question to the birds. I look forward to seeing more of Kristina’s work in the future!
Emerald Ash Tree
Explosion of leaves
Magnificent trunk
Extensive shade
Restful appearance
Aiming for expanse
Looking for company
Dreading the storm
Asking the birds
”Shall we sing?”
Humbly awaiting their answer
Terrific root labyrinth
Relying on rain to survive
Enchanting presence
Eye-catching sight
THIRD PLACE: Lexy Gillies, Year 4, Kennedy School, Hong Kong, 8 years old
Lexy’s poem is just delightful. Short, sweet and so evocative of the long thin branches of the weeping birch. The “whippy twigs” are just right! Lexy’s entry was typed in a lovely sloping format, which reminded me of the swaying of a birch tree – I’ll try to reproduce that here. Well done Lexy!
The Weeping Birch
She is my summer tree,
her whippy twigs
where catkins stay,
her golden leaves
that dance and sway,
She rustles when
the wind blows
and every time
you hide in her
she seems to say ‘hello’.
HONOURABLE MENTION: Chelsea Parker-Burton, Grade 5, Kambala School, Sydney, 10 years old
Chelsea is a regular entrant in my competitions, and her poetry is getting better and better! I share her sense of wonder about Australia’s Wollemi Pines, discovered only in 1994, and thought to be long-extinct:
A Rare Discovery
I wonder about the Wollemi Pine, ‘Dinosaur tree’ or ‘living fossil’
Discovered not so long ago, growing high and wide, bark like bubbling chocolate
Leaves changing lime green to a deeper bluish-green, such a clever tree
Secrets kept and cannot be told, growing in sandstone ridges and canyon walls
Millions of years tall and proud, warm rainforest keeping you hidden and safe
Thought to be extinct, but growing still rugged and hard to reach
I want to visit you often to wonder at your knowledge.
RUNNERS-UP
Duncan Michael Gardiner, Year 5, St. Josephs Primary Malvern, Melbourne, 11 years old
I thought that Duncan’s poem about his family tree was just plain clever! It also made me smile – well done Duncan!
My Favourite Tree
Welcome to my family tree,
There’s Mum, there’s Dad, Sam, Eamon and Me.
The tree grows tall and branches out,
And this is where my Grandparents sprout.
On one side there’s Grammy and Pop,
But wait there’s more it doesn’t stop.
Pa Bob and Nana Di are on the other side,
And at the top the tree grows wide.
There’s Aunts, Uncles and Cousins there,
And we’ve even got some twigs to spare.
Of all the trees there are around,
This is the one I have found.
Olivia Cox, Grade 4, Geelong Grammar Toorak campus, Melbourne, 10 years old
A lovely free-verse poem from Olivia, which cleverly captures the feeling of comfort and safety we feel around trees:
The Tangled Tree
Let me tangle my branches around you
I’ll let you up high where you’re safe and sound
Make up codes and passwords to climb me
Climb into my fragile and old branches
Spy on neighbors
I’m old, I may not be able to hold a hammock
Rest your back against my long, thick branches
I have skinny branches so don’t pretend you are a circus person on a tight
rope
Don’t ever stop climbing me when you think you’re too old
Stay with me
Video games are not fragile, old and safe and sound
I’ll never let you down
Let me tangle my branches around you.
Hillary Lo, Grade 6, Shatin Junior School, Hong Kong, 9 years old
Well done to Hillary on yet another winning entry! Her poem was the shortest in the competition, but proves that you don’t need to use a lot of words to paint a picture very sharply and effectively:
Winter Tree
Tiny flakes of snow relax on my eyelids,
My breath slow and steady.
I watch as layers and layers of icy snow cover all the green,
The white leaves looming over me.
Clare Beaton-Wells, Grade 4, Methodist Ladies College, Melbourne, 10 years old
Clare’s poem about a Bonsai Tree is an excellent example of rhyming verse – I look forward to seeing more of your work, Clare!
Bonsai and Me
My favourite tree is a Bonsai tree,
It seems to have something in common with me,
A presence that seems wise and calm,
But also awake just like an alarm,
Bonsais are special as if they were art,
Twisting and turning never falling apart,
Each leaf so tiny as light as a feather,
Solid as one whole but working together,
These trees sure are a one-time experience,
Each is unique in its own special appearance!
Athene Fox, Grade 4, French International School Hong Kong, 8 years old
There are some beautiful images in Athene’s clever poem about a very regal pine tree with a rather regal name! I thought this poem was an excellent effort for an 8 year old!
Her Royal Highness
In the depths of my imagination I can perceive
A regal forest, on an island, full of trees
Where in the center stands a highland queen
A friend most dear to me
Scent of perfume the sweetest known
And a low voice heard with the breeze’s gentle moan
Her arms are clothed in glowing shades of green
She is tall and strong with dress of brilliant sheen.
They show her happiness in summer’s hue
She loves to give out cones to all her friends
Before she sees the glowing whites of winter
You may think she’s human but you’ll see
That Kate is really just a lone pine tree.
Claudia Wong, Year 5, Australian International School Hong Kong, 11 years old
I really enjoyed Claudia’s poem, with its great choice of vocabulary and some lovely imagery:
I Have a Tree
I have a tree,
One that grows like a rose in my backyard.
It tosses its head back proudly and shakes out its mane,
Standing dauntlessly with bark as rough as card.
I have a tree,
That I glance at wearing a look of pity when it loses its hair.
But Winter’s threats go as Summer’s warmth takes over,
Admiration’s the feeling when it grows back with flair.
I have a tree,
Where I scale its branches to my heart’s content.
It’ll be there after I fly to heaven,
A solid block of wood that even hammers can’t dent.
I have a tree…
SPECIAL MENTION:
Bianca Cretella, Grade 6, St Joseph’s Primary Malvern, Melbourne, 11 years old
A special mention to Bianca, for a poem that was just bursting with passion:
Cherry Blossom Trees
Cherry blossom trees how I love them,
Their colour is beautiful when I look at them
I feel like I am taken away of the loveliness in the colour,
That they have more beauty then anything in the world.
It is a world of beautiful.
Nothing is more pleasant when you are under a tree.
You feel in a world of happiness and joy and fun
Having one near you would make you feel amazing;
Relaxed like nothing else in the world,
If I had one I’d treasure it for the rest of my life.
For all of the gold and silver in the world I wouldn’t trade it for my blossom tree.
As the leaves fall and the days go by nothing is more romantic then to watch a blossom tree.
And to Georgia Lyden, Year 4, The Peak School, Hong Kong, 7 years old
Georgia was the youngest entrant in this Category, and deserves a special mention for her really sweet poem about the kindness of trees, which really touched me:
My Tree
My tree will always be kind to all things
She will always be like a parasol shading me from the sun
She is as big as a giant
I like to sit under her green leaves and relax
When the wind blows through her leaves it sounds like a lullaby
Koalas love to climb in her broad branches and so do I
She is part of Mother Nature’s big family
She hugs me when I am sad
She is as alive as I am
I love my tree very much
She loves me back
I hope others will learn to love her as much as I do.
–oOo–
COMPETITION NO. 24: A SHAGGY SHEEP POEM!
Wow! That was hard work, but a whole lot of FUN! I’ve just judged a grand total of 175 fantastic entries and if I read about one more sheep or ram or goat. I’m going to start bleating VERY loudly! Your poems were excellent, and there was a great variety, with everything ranging from knock knock jokes to riddles to haikus to limericks to cinqains to rhyming couplets to some really good free verse! And I really loved all your sheep, rams and goats – they were a hairy, noisy lot on the whole but quite adorable, just like Rodney Ram!
And the competition keeps getting bigger and bigger! This time your entries came from a huge 32 schools in 9 cities on 3 different continents! In Beijing: Montessori School of Beijing; in Hong Kong: Australian International School, Christian Alliance International School, Discovery Bay International School, French International School, Glenealy School, German Swiss International School, The Kellett School, Kennedy School, Kowloon Junior School, Quarry Bay School, Renaissance College, Shatin Junior School, Singapore International School, St Paul’s Primary Catholic School; in Melbourne: Geelong Grammar Junior School, Ivanhoe Grammar Junior School, Melbourne Ladies College; in Shanghai: British International School Puxi Campus, Britannica International School Gubei Campus, Shanghai United International School, Western International School of Shanghai; in Shenzhen: Shen Wai International School; in Singapore: International School of Singapore, Stamford American International School; in Sydney: Kambala Girls School, Lindfield East Public School, Our Lady of Dolours School Chatswood, Robert Townson Public School, and one homeschool; in Taiwan: Morrison Academy Kaohsiung; and in Seattle USA: Greenlake Elementary School.
Remember I was looking for excellent vocabulary, great ideas, good spelling, and especially, something to make me smile! In addition I judged your poems on correct length (no more than 16 lines), correct subject matter (ram, sheep or goat), originality, style, whether it all made sense, and that crucial, hard-to-define X factor! It was soooo hard to choose the best ten in each category, but I made it in the end! And here are the results!
YEARS 1 TO 3 CATEGORY
There were a total of 75 entries from 20 schools in this section, as well as a wonderful contribution from a whole class of Grade 1s which you can read below in the Special Mention section.
FIRST PLACE: Nicholas Ng, Grade 3, Shanghai United International School, Hongqiao, 9 years old
Congratulations to Nicholas on winning this category with a wonderful, witty rhyming verse, which made me smile a lot! The rhyme was almost perfect, and I especially liked Nicholas’s main character, a feisty little lamb that simply wouldn’t give up! For his excellent effort, Nicholas wins a signed copy of one of my books. I wonder if he’ll choose The Tale of Rodney Ram?
The Tiny Lamb
Once there was a tiny lamb that thought he would become a ram,
He started acting big and strong, he bellowed like a banging gong,
But in fact it didn’t sound loud at all, the sound was really kind of small,
So he got a big trombone and rattled up his every bone,
He quickly used up all his air, but it wasn’t raising any hair.
He tried several ideas, he did; he hadn’t ever succeeded.
Then he became really sad, his head was down; he thought he was bad.
His father came, strong and horned; said to his son ”Don’t be forlorn,
When I was young I was also weak, I was so small I could only squeak,
But I became stronger as I grew, I know it will be the same for you.”
And with that they walked towards the sun,
And played and talked and had lots of fun.
SECOND PLACE:
Madeline Painter, Grade 2, Stamford American International School Singapore, 7 years old
Congratulations to 7 year old Madeline, whose free verse entry came a very close second. It was chock full of fabulous alliteration, using unusually sophisticated vocabulary for her age, and her teacher tells me that Madeline’s work is always like this – wow! She is clearly a talented writer, and I look forward to seeing more of her work in future competitions! But it wasn’t quite as much a poem as it could have been – Madeline’s entry only just falls inside the limits of free verse, so on this occasion, she was pipped to the post by Nicholas!
Ricky Ram’s Green Goats and Sarcastic Sheep
Ricky Ram read rare, rotten reviews about ridiculous, reluctant rascals.
Green goats gape, gawk, and gossip about gross, grizzly, gurgling, geeky geckoes.
I saw some shy, shifty, small, simply sooooooooo sarcastic, sneaky, sudoku solving sheep, shrugging their shoulders.
I think Ricky Ram would be very reluctant about sleeping with gossiping, green, goats and sneaky, sooooooooo sarcastic, sheep.
THIRD PLACE: Shiraz Palestrant Rothschild, Grade 2, Montessori School of Beijing, Grade 2, 8 years old
Shiraz’s delightful rhyming poem had an interesting rhyming pattern (AABBA) which was faithfully adhered to – a real achievement at her young age. I especially enjoyed her use of some unusual ingredients (boerwors sausage and rooibos tea) and her funny storyline. Well done Shiraz!
Rodney the Ram
Rodney – oh that shy little ram
He’s romantic and likes to eat jam
His friend Robert the rabbit
Noticed his habit
And made him a jelly from yam
Another friend Henry the horse
Brought South African sausage – boerewors!
Rodney gathered his charm
His smile lit up the farm
And together they drank rooibos – of course!
Now Peter the pig was his friend
But he criticized Rodney to no end
Afraid of confrontation
Rodney ran to the gas station
And Peter he did not offend.
HONOURABLE MENTION: Sera van der Vorm, Grade 3, Stamford American International School Singapore, 8 years old
Sera’s acrostic poem was skillfully written, and I particularly enjoyed her list of unusual names for Rodney’s flock.
Rodney Acrostic
Romantic!
Oh! He is dazzling and what a great leader!
Dumb isn’t it to dance on a hillside like him?
Never finds anything beautiful without flowers.
Emma, Luna, Anna, Amelia, and Orinoco love him!
Yes Rodney is the best!
RUNNERS UP:
Cadyn Lam, Year 2, Renaissance College Hong Kong, 6 years old
What a terrific effort for a 6 year old – well done Cadyn! I thought that your poem was not only clever, but also great fun with the rhyming words used in your middle section, and its’ great punch line!
Sheep Ram Goat
Sheep, ram, goat,
Where do you want to go?
Hong Kong! Hong Kong is the place we want to go!
So…
Sheep went on a jeep,
Ram went on a tram,
Goat went on a boat,
And they all arrived in Hong Kong,
Making people confused,
Is it the Year of Sheep, Ram or Goat?
Erin Claire Muir, Britannica International School Shanghai, Year 3, 7 years old
Erin’s poem is an unusual and very effective free verse. Excellent work!
Who Was That?
Who was that?
You don’t know that sheep
Did you see him?
Who!
That sheep
Yes but who is he?
You don’t know that sheep
No I don’t
Oh that sheep is brilliant
Who?
That sheep
Oh yes, that sheep
But who is he?
You don’t know that sheep
No I don’t
Because he is a ram!
Sharni Rangaiya, Year 3, Robert Townson Primary School, Sydney, 8 years old
I loved Sharni’s riddle and thought she made a good attempt at rhyming many of the lines.
Riddle
I am kept outdoors
But I can keep you warm
I make a great feast
At the very least
I’ve got mind-blowing horns
Every year I get sheared
I’ve got the best hooves in town
You might see me around
I am a full-grown male lamb
Can you guess what I am?
I’m a ram!
Nick Akov, Year 2, Kellett School Pokfulam, 6 years old
Another great effort from a 6 year old, which made me grin. Well done Nick!
Sheep Sweep
Once there was a sheep who drove a car called “Beep”…
Woke up a bird who was deep asleep
Scared a frog who was trying to leap
Surprised a duck who was mending a jeep…
And landed in a hay heap!
Noe Godin, Year 3, Britannica Shanghai Internationals School, 8 years old
This poem was so much fun, and I really liked the way Noe tried to rhyme every line the same way, with a rather cute ending!
Rob the Ram
Rob is a very special ram
Red like a strawberry jam!
One day as he’s walking around the farm,
A bull goes out in a door’s slam.
He must be at least 500 kilograms!
Rob stays quiet like a very old clam…
He fears that this would end in a big wham,
And does not want to be the piece of ham!
Surprise! The bull does him no harm!
But welcomes Rob with open arms!
Cause no matter the color, they are best friends… yes Madam!
Octavia Guiomar Blanche, International School of Singapore, Singapore, 8 yoa, Grade 3
Knock knock jokes are hard to write well, but I thought that Octavia’s effort was well executed and very funny!
Knock Knock Joke
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ba-aa-aa
Ba-aa-aa who
Ba-aa-aad time to enter!
SPECIAL MENTIONS:
Even though they didn’t win a place, the gorgeous Grade 1s who bravely entered the competition deserve a special mention! Well done to all of you – your poems were adorable!
Olivia: Grade 1, Stamford American International School, Singapore
Goat Acrostic
Goats are extremely woolly and sleepy and say maaaa and eat everything and they are cute.
Organised goats listen well and they don’t maaaa too loud.
An extremely big hungry eater.
Tailless animals.
Jan Borwankar Visa, Grade 1, International School of Singapore, Singapore, 6 years old
Sheep Acrostic
Shy as a mouse
Happy as a baby
Economy class
Extremely soft
Perfect looking
Claire Ziebart, Grade 1, International Montessori School of Beijing,
7 years old
Different Sheep
Sheep has fur as soft as a pillow
When sheep jump over the moon they say hello
Fur as curly as messy as cloud
Mom said pet sheep is allowed
Back legs bend backwards, which creeps me out
When they walk away from me, I pout.
Minna J., Grade 1, Stamford American International School, Singapore
Goats Eat Everything
Goats eat everything like tables and cloths, boomerangs and plates but not buildings.
Goats jump and jump all day long but they never stop not even when the sun rises.
And finally, one last Special Mention for a group entry from a Grade 1 class in Shanghai!
Class 1B, Britannica International School Shanghai
Follow my leader
The curly, wurly sheep was feeling rather low,
So he sat on a log just like the Gruffalo.
Along came a mouse,
So the sheep said ‘Hello’
The sheep asked kindly ‘Can I follow you home?’
(Sheep like to follow, just in case you didn’t know)
The sheep and the mouse stopped by a stream.
Sheep was feeling hungry, (always it would seem)
And mouse, well he just fancied a clean!
Sheep had a thought so bleated to mouse,
‘Climb on my back and dry off in hair. There’s plenty of room because I’m hardly ever bare!’
Mouse feeling sleepy did just that,
So sheep followed dutifully and laid down for a long nap!
YEARS 4 TO 6 CATEGORY
In this section there were a mighty 100 entries from students in a total of 21 schools. The competition was fierce, with a longlist of 22 entries at a very high standard. In fact, using my judging criteria, the top three finalists all scored equally for different reasons, making the choice of overall winner extremely difficult! But this is where my instructions in the competition came strongly to the fore, in particular my special request that your poem made me SMILE!
FIRST PLACE: Ivana Wong , Year 5, Kowloon Junior School, 10 years old
Congratulations to Ivana on winning first place in the Year 4 to 6 Category! Her poem was very good indeed! It read very well, with excellent attention to rhythm and rhyme, and in particular, it was great fun! I laughed out loud at the image of Rodney soaring into a puddle at Shirley’s feet, and I thought the ending was brilliant! Keep on writing Ivana – you have real talent! And in the meantime, as first place winner, you can now choose a free copy of one of my books as your prize!
Romeo Ram
Romeo Ram fell in love one day,
With Shirley Sheep who lived not far away,
She walked past his field with her family flock,
And his beating heart clanged like a clock!
His eyes started spinning as he ran to the gate,
But in his great speed he stopped too late!
His head hit the bars with a dreadful bump,
And between his horns appeared a red lump!
Now Romeo wasn’t a ram who gave up,
So he charged at the gate ‘Giddy up, Giddy up’,
Over he soared right into the street,
Landing in a puddle at Shirley’s feet!
“Oh Romeo!” she baa-aad in a gentle voice,
“I don’t need heroics to make you my choice;
You’re a ram in a million, as all can see,
So Romeo Ram, will you please marry me?”
SECOND PLACE: Claudia Wong, Year 6, Australian International School HK, 11 years old
I loved Claudia’s rhyming verse, with its really striking imagery, vocabulary and clever use of metaphor. I especially loved the “turquoise meadow” and “shattered bones”. It came a very close second, only losing out by a whisker to Ivana’s poem due to having less of that “smile” factor!
(Note from Claudia: The sheep are the clouds, the wolves are the storm clouds and the bones are the rain)
Sheep of the Sky
Enchanting me is the flawless, azure sky,
It seems to go on forever from where I lie.
Swiftly a sheep trots into the turquoise meadow,
Hastily all of its fluffy, woolly family follows.
They prance and dance, sleep and graze,
Playing joyfully under the sun’s hot blaze.
Out of the blue, a pack of wolves attack the rams and ewes,
Their shattered bones fall to earth after being chewed.
There isn’t a glimpse of a single sheep, not even a trace,
For days the dark crowd stays in place.
But as the weeks pass, the grey mass shrinks to a crack,
And the snow-white flock comes happily galloping back.
THIRD PLACE: Hillary Lo, Year 6, Sha Tin Junior School, 10 years old
Competition regular Hillary has done it again, with this gorgeous free verse poem, full of original touches, like that lovely word “loll”, day and night “intertwining” and the superb last line, where the moon is a “dutiful aged soldier”. First class work from a real poet!
The Black Little Lamb
Clouds of cotton candy loll,
Grazing, nuzzling the tufts of grass.
A puff of black enters the stage,
All heads, all faces turned to him,
As he dances in the spotlight,
Glorious, confident and determined,
His little face ambitious and inspiring.
A thoughtful look illuminating his round face,
Audience watch, as silent as mice.
Day and Night intertwine,
As the sun wraps her comforting arms around him,
And the moon high up guards him,
A dutiful aged soldier.
HONOURABLE MENTION: Cheryl Lam, Year 6, Renaissance College HK, 10 years old
I thought that Cheryl’s Zodiac Poem was really clever and I really enjoyed some of her descriptions – especially the “pipsqueak elf”, the snake’s “penetrating stare”. I’m not a fan of the word “butt” as my regular entrants will know – but the rest of the poem was so good I’m prepared to overlook it this time!
The Best in the Zodiac
I’m far better than the other twelve,
Ox is gigantic, mouse, the pipsqueak elf.
Tiger has sharp claws that claw you to death,
Dragon has quite a temper with that fiery breath!
Horse is a show off; he tries to impress the mares,
And sneaky snake makes you dizzy with it’s penetrating stare!
Dog barks like crazy, and scares you off with a BOO,
And Rooster annoys everyone with his COCKLE-DOODLE-DOO!
See! No others like me, soft and sweet,
Monkey scratches his butt with his feet!
And here comes Pig, you know what I’ll say,
Everyone knows that he just pigs out and plays!
After all this, all of you MUST know,
Sheep is the best and is always on show!
I’ve got all the good features: Soft, cuddly, and I don’t crow,
You must know that I’m really the BEST in the Zodiac now!
RUNNERS-UP:
Chelsea Parker-Burton, Year 6, Kambala School, Sydney, 11 years old
Chelsea has met the finalists list again in my Clever Competition with this beautiful free verse with its rather wistful ending. Lovely work Chelsea!
⽺羊 yáng (Sheep)
Sheep are among the animals that we like most.
Gentle and calm just like a ghost.
The white endearing creature often reminds people of beautiful things.
I look up the hill from my perch on the wall, smiling at the merriment at hand,
Lambs in lighthearted animation frolic in every step,
Daisies trampled down in the jollity,
Ram and ewe, standing patiently under the trees for the sun to ease,
Early morning and evening flocking from one field to the other,
Lighthearted, never complaining,
What do they do over the long night? I would like to see.
If I could raise my weary head and peek out into the black night.
Marissa Chow, Year 5, Kowloon Junior School , 10 years old
I really enjoyed Marissa’s take on the subject matter, with a rather unique style involving a series of rhetorical questions. Great work, Marissa!
Baa! Baa!
Baa! Baa!
Who wouldn’t like
These clever, shy creatures
Who helped all on Earth
When the great famine took place
By landing in the rice field
With gods riding on their back.
Baa! Baa!
With white and fluffy wool
These animals keep you warm
By kindly agreeing
For you to shear and wear their fur.
Baa! Baa!
Who wouldn’t appreciate
These hardworking, generous rams?
Diandra Paez, Year 6, Our Lady of Dolours, Chatswood, Sydney, 11 years old
This is an excellent haiku from first time entrant Diandra, with a great use of simile in the second line and a perfect follow-on punchline in the last line.
Haiku – Sheep
Grazing in the grass,
Their wool like cotton candy,
Hard to tell apart.
Athene Fox, Year 4, French International School HK, 8 years old
Snapping at Diandra’s heels is this haiku from Athene, another competition regular, with an outstanding alliterative opening. I loved her imagery of a “bumbling babe”!
Haiku – The Naïve Lamb
Bleating, bumbling babe
It skips along the green grass
Ready for a meal.
Emily Griffin, Year 5, Morrison Academy Kaohsiung, Taiwan, 10 years old
Emily’s free verse poem is wonderfully evocative, with some gorgeous imagery, though it did make me feel a little chilly!
A sheep runs down the field as its wool blows in the crisp wind,
He crunches on the grass as a rain drop lands on his shaggy body
He dashes toward cover soon to be safe under the tree’s leafy roof
He snuggles against his flock to watch the rain pour,
His eyelids droop and everything goes black.
Aashi Shah, Year 4, Glenealy School, 9 years old
Congratulations to Aashi for this very original take on the subject! It really made me stop and think, especially when I do love eating my lamb chops L!
The World Through a Sheep’s Eyes
The thin, green flaky bits growing from the earth,
The tall, brown manmade structure sitting still,
The small, yellow, stinging insects flying around,
And of course, the hot, sweaty animals tending to the farm,
This is all the world through a sheep’s eyes.
We take sheep for granted,
Not thinking a bit about them,
We take their wool, their milk and sometimes even kill them,
Their wool is for them and their milk is for their lambs,
Even though they have a right to, they don’t protest.
Let’s spare a thought for them, and remember how much they do for us
In this Year of the Sheep!
SPECIAL MENTION:
Jemma Julian, Grade 5, homeschool in Sydney, 10 years old
Alas, there was one entry in this section which was simply wonderful…but not a poem! Jemma’s entry fell just over that fine line between free verse and narrative prose. Remember the definition of free verse: verse without regular metre or rhyme which nonetheless retains a poetic form. Here Jemma has written a brilliant, funny story chock full of really superb vocabulary, originality and style. But…it’s not a poem! But it’s so good, I had to let you all read it! Enjoy! And Jemma – keep up the excellent work and make sure you enter my next competition!
The Long bearded Goat Clan
An emperor named Yaotang-shi. was renowned for his mustachios and his beard.
One day when he was preening his luxuriant beard, a messenger came from Japan.
Begging him to hear of the Exceptional Long Bearded Goat Clan.
Incensed, Yaotang-shi stamped and yelled for the Goat clan to appear.
In preparation Yaotang-shi groomed his moustache and beard into a maze of shiny ringlets.
Next he tried quadrilateral spikes with cherry blossoms divine.
The regal goat appeared at court, with a curled bouffant of impressive size.
His herd appeared behind him, holding suitcases packed with grooming accessories.
The emperor Yaotang-shi blushed; how could he be seen in his morning gown?
But still he keenly said, ‘Oh! Is that the latest style in Japan?’
‘Oh yes,’ replied the goat, ‘I like yours too, So … original!’
The emperor Yaotang-shi looked down at his simple beard and drooping moustache,
Saying, ‘why thank you sir…Would you care for a cumquat?’
‘Yes please’ replied the goat, swallowing it whole.
Would you care for some of my Japanese sushi? I made it my self.’
Soon it was time for the goat to leave and they both wept until their beards were soggy.
–oOo–
COMPETITION NO. 25: A TALE OF THREE CHINESE CHARACTERS STORY COMPETITION!
At last I’m done! And what a TERRIBLE time I had judging this competition –because your stories were all so good!
Your stories took me on the most exciting journeys through China, from the Forbidden City in Beijing to the Great Wall of China to the Silk Road to Dunhuang – and beyond to Mongolia, India and even Australia! I met famous historical characters such as the mighty Emperor Qin Shi Huang and the great maritime explorer Zheng He, as well as magical beings like witches, pirates, dragons, fairies and ghosts. There were princesses of every description, from kind and clever to greedy and cruel; from cheeky to moody to ugly to beautiful. Some were artists, others were scientists; there was even a princess rabbit! Your talking frogs were all wonderful characters: some wise and kind, others greedy and ambitious; some royal, some cursed, and all of them quite magical. Then there were the rams, which were usually clever and sensible and very wise, but on occasion very silly and sometimes even evil! As you can imagine, I had a lot of fun reading about them all!
This time, there were 36 entries from 16 different schools in 6 different cities in 4 different countries – an impressive number given that many schools have been on summer holiday during most of the writing period. The entries came from: Hong Kong SAR China (Chinese International School, German Swiss International School, Kowloon Junior School, Shatin Junior School); Melbourne, Australia (Loreto Mandeville Girls School); Seattle, USA (Hamilton International School); Shanghai, China (Shanghai United International School Hongqiao, Wellington College International School); Singapore (Avondale Grammar, Canadian International School Lakeside Campus, Stamford American International School, United World College Dover); and Sydney, Australia (Arden Anglican School, Rose Bay Public School, Turramurra Public School, one homeschool).
The standard was very high indeed, so that picking the finalists came down to a question of the finest details, including grammar and punctuation. Remember I was looking for:
- All the required ingredients (the ram, the Chinese Empress or Princess, the talking frog, the storm and the colour vermilion)
- A Chinese setting for at least part of the story
- A title
- The correct use of at least 3 of my Wicked Words
- No more than 1000 words long
And here’s what I was especially looking for to decide the winners:
- Original ideas
- Fabulous vocabulary
- Terrific style including excellent grammar
- Accurate spelling
- Proper punctuation
- Detailed descriptions of characters
- Detailed description of setting including season and weather
- An attention-grabbing start
- A great problem or challenge
- Interesting story development with some complexity
- A convincing climax or cliff-hanger
- A satisfying ending
- A good structure to the story overall (so the action in your story looked a bit like a Story Mountain)
- And that hard-to-define “X-factor”, which made the story memorable.
If you’re not a finalist this time, a great way to improve your writing is to re-read your story and see how it measures up to the list above J – this works even better if you do it with a trusted friend or teacher, or with mum or dad. And next time you enter, make sure your story ticks all those boxes!
A big tip to all you writers out there: characters and setting are VERY important! The more you tell me about a character – what they look like, what sort of person or animal they are inside – as well as the place where the story takes place – what it looks like, what season it is, what the weather is doing and so on – the more marks you’ll get!
Here are the top six entries in each Category – I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did! The first place-winners in each category will also receive a free signed copy of one of my books!
YEARS 1 TO 3 CATEGORY
In this section there were a fabulous 14 entries from schools in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Singapore and Sydney! I was so impressed with the overall quality of writing from such young students – and very excited to think that their journey as writers is only just starting out!
Congratulations to Trevor Yung of Kowloon Junior School in Hong Kong; Nicolette Ng of SUIS Shanghai and Emma Bower, Ryan Larkin, Lachlan Hong, Rachel Grant and Zachariah Clutterham of Turramurra Public School in Sydney for your wonderful entries. While you didn’t win a place this time, your stories were terrific! Do make sure you keep entering my competitions in the future, and I’ll look forward to seeing your writing get better and better!
FIRST PLACE: Emily Davis, Year 2, Arden Anglican School, Beecroft, New South Wales, 8 years old
Congratulations to competition newcomer Emily on winning First Place in this section, with her richly imaginative story about a village girl from Dunhuang on the Silk Road, who saves her city and its famous silk by finding the last mulberry seed. I was very impressed by Emily’s knowledge of China and silkworm cultivation, which indicated some serious research, and I thought her story idea was very original, with a neat twist at the end. Emily also managed to weave six of my Wicked Words into her story, alongside some impressive vocabulary and turns of speech. A superb job Emily; I hope to see much more of your writing in future.
The Silk Princess
This story starts when I was just known as Ling, before I became grand and important. At a time when my hair was long and black I lived with my family in Dunhuang, a city on the edge of the Gobi desert. Dunhuang is famous for the quality of its silk and the luscious mulberry trees which grow around Blue Crescent Lake. The Silk Road runs to Dunhuang bringing many traders exchanging sumptuous goods for our silk.
My job was looking after the rams and ewes; I knew nothing of silk. My mother and father worked for the Emperor, planting and caring for the mulberry trees. They were not rich but their jobs were important. Without this care the silkworms would have no leaves to eat and the city would have no silk.
One day while attending to the rams in the field I became aware that the wind had picked up. It started to strengthen, a loud whistling through the sand dunes. Looking up at the orange tinged sky, I noticed the rams running and wondered why. My eyes began to sting and water. SAND STORM!! A huge wave of sand came hurtling towards me as I ran towards the house. The sand whipped my legs making them sting. I heard a trumpet call in the far distance followed by the faint voice of the Emperor’s squire ordering us to shelter in the palace grounds. My family was ahead. Reaching my little sister I picked her up, holding her against my chest protecting her face from the sand.
We got to the palace gates and hid behind the huge stone walls. Choking back tears we huddled together hoping that the wall would not collapse. The sand storm hit, the walls shook with its power. My nose and mouth filled with dry sand, I felt like I was suffocating. The sky continued to darken. My thoughts turned to the nightlight that my mother always dimmed.
Finally it was over; the sky began to lighten. I could see the shadowy outline of the palace grounds. Everything was covered in layers and layers of sand. My family and I dragged ourselves out of the palace grounds. Before us lay the remains of our house. Nothing left, only ineffable despair.
My mother told me to search for the rams and ewes and call them by name. I went to look in the fields near the mulberry trees. The mulberry trees that once were so bright and beautiful lay bare, pitiful skeletons. The whole plantation was totally destroyed. Digging my hands around the base of a tree I found a few precious silkworms still clinging to a buried leaf. Poor little silkworms, how long would they last without the mulberry trees? No more cocoons would be made and so no more silk. Without the silk no more trade. It would result in pandemonium. Dunhuang would fall.
Just then I heard a groaning croaking noise. A small green frog lay on its side, a large lump in its stomach.
“Help me! Help me!” said the frog
Speechless, I looked closely at this old, plain frog. Did he really speak? The frog opened his slimy mouth and there was something there at the back of his throat. Trying not to gag I gently reached inside his gooey mouth and retrieved… the LAST MULBERRY SEED IN THE LAND!
“ You are welcome to it” croaked the frog
“ It gave me only pain, may it give you only happiness.”
Racing towards the palace gate with the mulberry seed clutched tightly in my hand, I felt exuberant. I imagined great cheers of joy at my return. But all that met my eyes was despair, horrible despair. As I approached the Emperor, he bowed his head.
“ What is it girl?” he said, sounding tired
“Emperor, I have found the last mulberry seed!” I said ecstatically.
“ Really!” yelled the Emperor. “May the Gods bless you!”
Soon the precious mulberry seed was planted and taken care of by my family and the other mulberry growers. The seed took and grew into a healthy seedling. Even though I knew that it was being looked after by experts, I still came tip-toeing in every morning to check the tree was safe. The silk worms had also survived, kept alive by the small number of leaves that we had. But it was many years before silk could be made again.
One night, I was walking up to my bedroom after visiting the tree when I heard a voice say, “So you’re the girl who brought us hope, who saved our population”.
There stood a handsome young man with a resplendent gold crown on his head. Gazing into his sparkling eyes, I fell… in love!
The tree and our love grew and grew. On a wondrous day I was dressed in a fine, vermillion silk gown. Perfect as red is the colour of hope and joy. In that moment I changed from a village shepherd girl into a Grand Royal Princess. No longer Ling, but the Silk Princess.
SECOND PLACE: Joel Allen, Year 3, Rose Bay Public School, Sydney, 8 years old
I absolutely loved Joel’s clever and highly entertaining story about a ram with super powers, an evil overlord frog and a famous princess scientist-inventor! It was very well written, with fluent expression and excellent grammar. It was fast-paced and funny, and the ending made me chuckle out loud! I especially loved Joel’s fabulous vocabulary, which was quite outstanding for an 8 year old. Well done Joel – your second place is richly deserved!
The Epic Tale of Ruben Ram
“That’s odd”, thought Reuben Ram, “I thought Princess Tabatha’s science laboratory had the best security in the world”. Reuben was reading a newspaper article about the Princess’s abduction from her lab. He was reading the article through his apartment wall and over his neighbour’s shoulder using his x-ray vision.
This was Reuben’s preferred method of reading the paper. He didn’t like to go out much for fear of his secret identity being discovered. You see, even though Reuben looked like any other ram on the outside, he was really quite different on the inside. With his x-ray vision, hyper speed, frost breath, mega strength, the ability to fly and of course his famous super baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa which was known to blast his enemies into oblivion, Reuben was a super ram! He even had a resplendent, vermillion cape to prove it.
When he was a little lamb, his mum had made him promise that all the special things that he could do would only be used secretly to help others. Reuben was torn. In order to keep his identity secret, he tried to keep the special work that he did out of the public eye, preferring to help ordinary people who faced trouble in their everyday lives.
Princess Tabatha definitely didn’t fit that description. She was one of the most illustrious scientists in China. She was famous for her state-of-the-art science laboratory and inventing the first biological teleporter. She was tiny with long, brown hair and big glasses and although she wasn’t particularly outgoing, her magnanimous nature meant she was always respectful and kind of those around her, despite her amazing intellect.
So it was particularly distressing to read that the Princess had been kidnapped by none other than evil overlord Timmy the Talking Frog. Somehow Timmy had broken into the Princess’s laboratory and grabbed her along with her teleporter’s blueprints. She had gone missed two days ago now and no one had any idea where Timmy had taken her. With the blueprints and Tabatha’s brilliant mind, two days was long enough for Timmy to recreate parts of the teleporter and use it for his evil ambition to rule the world. This was getting serious.
“I’ll just have to risk being discovered”, said Reuben as he leapt into the sky.
***
Reuben was flying at super speed using his x-ray vision to track down Timmy’s evil lair. “I finally found it,” he said to himself. He used his super baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to blast his way down to the base.
When the dust had settled, he saw Princess Tabatha locked up behind bars. And they weren’t any old bars, they were electrified bars; if you touched them, they would zap you to smithereens. On the far side of the room, Timmy was tinkering away on a complicated looking machine. That must be the teleporter, thought Reuben, who knows what kind of havoc Timmy will wreck once he has finished building it.
“Stand down Timmy!” yelled Reuben. He ran towards the control panel for the bars, ripped open the cover and slammed the button to turn them off. Princess Tabatha was free! She ran for safety. Before Reuben could react, Timmy activated the special machine and Reuben suddenly found himself in the middle of a terrible sand storm in a desert.
“Oh no!” thought Reuben, “Timmy’s teleporter must already be functional!”
It was impossible to see far through the howling sand gusts and it was incredibly hot. Reuben however, was a super ram, so could put up with a bit of heat every now and then. He leapt high into the air above the storm. Reuben realised that he hadn’t been teleported far. He could see Timmy’s lair only a few kilometres away. Timmy must still need to perfect his machine, I had better get back to stop him and to help Princess Tabatha, thought Reuben.
***
Timmy had locked up the Princess again and was pressing her for the last bits of information he needed to complete his teleporter. Tabatha was bravely resisting giving him any information.
Reuben blasted back into the base and turned off Tabatha’s bars again. Tabatha took refuge while Timmy and Reuben faced off.
Timmy, who was armed with two fire rays, fired several shots in rapid succession towards Reuben who managed to dodge the rays. Reuben in turn, used his frost breath to fire at Timmy. But Timmy was too quick and always managed to jump out of the way… he was a frog after all.
Meanwhile, Princess Tabatha had crept around the back of the room to Timmy’s teleporter and she was hard at work rearranging some of the wires and adjusting the nobs.
Timmy leaped high over Reuben’s head and landed near the teleporter. He noticed what Tabatha was doing; she was fixing the machine! Before he could leap for her, one of Reuben’s frost breaths finally hit its mark and Timmy’s legs were frozen solid. Before he could break free, Tabatha slammed one of the buttons and Timmy disappeared before their eyes.
“Where did you send him?” asked Reuben.
“Let’s just say he won’t be bothering us again,” said Tabatha with a knowing smile. “Thank you for coming to help me”, she said, “I’ll make sure you are rewarded and that everyone knows how brave you have been.”
“Please don’t tell anyone who I am. I don’t want my enemies to know my identity”, said Reuben.
“I understand”, said Tabatha, “I promise to keep your secret. Perhaps instead you can come and work in my lab.”
“I’d love that”, said Reuben, “now let’s get you home.” Reuben carefully picked up the Princess and shot up into the sky to take her back to her Chinese kingdom.
***
As Timmy got the feeling back in his legs he slowly looked up. It seemed as though he had landed in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant. When he turned around, his gaze was met by several French chefs who were slowly licking their lips…
THIRD PLACE: Ashling Walshe, Grade 3, Shanghai United International School, 9 years old
Readers will recall Ashling’s third place win in the Ode to My Favourite Tree competition late last year. It seems that she’s a great story-teller too! Ashling’s story of an ugly princess with inner beauty, an observant pet ram and a village boy-turned-frog is a tour de force of imaginative story-telling! I love her fantastic choice of words, including a massive 11 Wicked Words, and especially the way the narrator in the tale changes.
Beauty
Princess Lee Ying:
Long, long ago before your great grandparents were born my father ruled Imperial China. The rest of my illustrious family members were very popular except for me, Lee Ying, the youngest princess. I was very ugly. I had a bulbous wart-covered nose; dull eyes a long pointy chin and long, greasy, lifeless hair.
Nobody liked me but my father loved me dearly. Even the servants were inordinately lackadaisical around me, leaving dull clothes for me to wear instead of my resplendent gowns. Over time I became very shy. So shy that I only felt comfortable around animals. I especially loved my ram. He was the wisest and most sympathetic of my animals. He taught me to be considerate and to have an obliging heart no matter what happened.
Chen Wang the village boy:
My name is Chen Wang and I lived in a small village at the foot of the Himalayas. My family was very poor and my mother was very sick. We didn’t have enough money to buy medicine for my mother. As I was already 15 years old I decided to travel to Beijing to get a job to buy medicine for my mother.
After a long journey I arrived in Beijing at the gates of the Imperial palace and heard the gossip about princess, Lee Ying. I immediately began to hatch an egregious plan to tantalize the princess.
“Father, father, I have heard about a boy in the city named Chen Wang who claims that he can make a beauty potion. Please father, find him and bring him to me.”
The Emperor has called for me and two soldiers arrived to take me to the Imperial palace. When I arrived, the Emperor questioned me for a long time. Finally he asked what I wanted in return for making his daughter beautiful. Although I was terrified, I summoned the courage and asked for five coffers of gold and five bolts of the finest silk to be sent immediately to my family at the foot of the Himalayas. The Emperor agreed.
The Emperor asked what I needed to make the beauty potion. I really had to use my imagination. I asked for vermilion dye, special perfumes, almond oil, carrot cake and cacao milk. I slowly stirred the ingredients into a big cauldron until they came to a bubbling boil. Then I poured the vermilion potion into a glass and asked to be left alone to add the magic ingredient. Actually, there was no magic ingredient.
Finally, the Emperor returned with the princess and her ram. She really was ugly! I asked to be left alone with the Princess, but she insisted on the ram staying with her.
“Drink” I ordered. The princess raised the bubbly vermilion potion to her lips and eagerly poured the contents down her throat. I held my breath. Suddenly, the princess’s face began to change color. Her face was as vermilion as a ruby. A storm exploded in her stomach; thunder and lightning; Bim! Bam! Boom! It was deafening. Her nose began to shrink, her warts started disappearing, her chin shrank, her lips turned a beautiful blood red, her dull eyes sparkled, her greasy hair turned a shiny chestnut color and her skin became as smooth as ivory. Her whole face radiated beauty.
The princess was exuberant. I sighed a colossal sigh of relief. She rushed out of the room to show the emperor and her subjects her beauty. While the princess was busy displaying her newfound beauty, I was busy getting ready to sneak out of the palace.
The Princess’s Pet Ram:
Although I am just a ram and usually very trusting of people, this boy made me suspicious. I stayed behind and saw him packing hurriedly. “Stop!” I said. “Young wizard do not leave so hastily. We are thankful for what you have done. You must stay and be our guest for a while”
The boy looked scared, so I suspected that he was a fraud. I decided to watch him carefully. As the days passed the princess became more and more popular. Admirers came from far and near to attend sumptuous feasts and ask for her hand in marriage. A month passed. One day while I was sitting next to the princess in the throne room a storm erupted inside her. She started to change, her nose became immense and now her whole face became covered in warts, her eyes were even duller than before and her hair was incredibly greasy.
The Emperor rushed in. There was pandemonium in the throne room. The Emperor ordered his guards to torture and execute the boy. When Lee Ying heard this she ran to the prison. I followed close behind and when she got to the boy’s prison cell she touched the boy’s hand and asked, “Why did you play such an odious trick on me?” The boy went down on his knees and murmured, “I committed this atrocious crime for my mother. I’m terribly sorry.”
After we left Chen Wang I accompanied Lee Ying to see her father. Lee Ying explained the boy’s story to her father and pleaded with the Emperor to exonerate the boy. Although the Emperor was outraged, he didn’t have the heart to refuse his daughter especially after what had happened. Finally, he said, “I will agree not to execute him, but he must be severely punished and you must choose the punishment.”
As Lee Ying didn’t have a frog in her menagerie, she decided to have boy turned into a small green frog. After Chen Wang had been turned into a frog, he said, “Thank you for sparing my life. I will never forget your generosity.”
When people heard how magnanimous Lee Ying had been they adored her. Although she wasn’t beautiful, the people of the kingdom learned that true beauty is hidden deep within.
Lee Ying lived a long happy life and when her family passed away she ruled China wisely until the end of her days; with me, of course, the wisest ram in the world!
FOURTH PLACE: Sonia Mei Husain, Grade 3, United World College-Dover Campus, 8 years old
You may remember Sonia’s prize-winning poem in my Ode to my Favourite Tree competition last year. Here, her tale of a hard-working village girl who makes the Emperor face up to the poverty in her village and who helps to end foot-binding in China is very well written, and I especially appreciated her empathetic and imaginative depiction of Peiyi’s village and the hardships she suffered there. Well done again, Sonia!
Peiyi’s Journey
Peiyi was one of two daughters born on a stormy night. Her twin Minli was fourteen minutes older and seemed five times more beautiful. If there were space for one more person on the donkey wagon the spot would go to Minli. Peiyi thought that she was never chosen because of her shockingly short height but in reality it was because Minli’s feet were bound in elaborate layers of cloths and she was relearning to walk while Peiyi’s feet were spared because she was needed to help out in the farm. China was growing as fast as weed. People were sprouting everywhere and so many more mouths to feed. Peiyi’s village was suffering from famine. Men were overworked. Women were house bound and Peiyi was the only one left with healthy feet to work. She felt any second she was going to collapse with exhaustion.
One morning that started like any other, Peiyi drew pails of water out of her village’s only well when she spotted a green yellowish frog that stared back at her intently. His beady black eyes blinked as if they were trying to say something. Peiyi reaches out to help the frog climb out of the well. Once safely out, she stroked his burly head and to her surprise the frog spoke in a croaky voice, asking to be taken back to Princess Mei.
“Princess Mei” Peiyi gasped. “That is the Empress’ daughter!” she cried. “The royal kingdom is in the City of Moon Rain”, she cried. “That must be at least 50 miles away!”
But Peiyi agreed to help. The very next morning at the crack of dawn, she left home with a blanket, a china bowl, a pair of chopsticks and some water. The talking frog was tucked safely in her jacket’s pocket.
After five long days of walking, Peiyi shouted ecstatically “I see it, it is right ahead. The gates to the City of Moon rain”.
The talking frog gave a happy croak. He guided her through an underground passage that led to the Princess’s vermillion pagoda. The princess had long curly eyelashes on her big dark eyes on her beautiful pale skin. Her dress was weaved from golden thread and had a design of red Chinese lanterns. Her jade and ruby brooch fitted perfectly on her round bun. She walked gracefully and confidently. Peiyi noticed immediately that her feet were not bound. Princess was delighted to be reunited with her frog and smiled kindly at Peiyi before breaking into a happy child-like dance. The commotion brought the Emperor to the princess’s pagoda. With one look of Peiyi, he was puzzled what a village girl is doing inside the palace’s gate but the princess soon explained.
The emperor thanked Peiyi profusely and offered her a pagoda to stay in and rest. But Peiyi thanked him politely and said that she must return home right away for she hadn’t left a message that she was going to be away. Her parents would be so worried about her absence and who would help distribute food to their people? “Very well”, said the Emperor, I will escort you myself and see the conditions of your little village myself”. He loaded his royal carriage with supplies to last him a fortnight. A grand procession of carriages pulled up behind the royal carriage and off they went the same path Peiyi came only a few days ago.
Upon arriving at the village, the Emperor gasped at ubiquitous display of poverty; the many leaking roofs and broken roads with flooded grounds everywere. He thought out loud “My servants live in better conditions” and at listening to this Peiyi tried to stifle her laugh at the Emperor arrogant outlook, but it was too late. The Emperor heard her full and thoroughly and understood that he had long ignored his people.
“Is this how people in my country live”, he cried.
Peiyi said “It is up to you to help the farmers, who are dying of famine and they can’t grow enough crops because the women are house bound. My father depends on me for everything, because I was the lucky one to not have my feet bound. I don’t know what would become of my family without my help”.
The Emperor understood immediately what had to be done. He called a meeting with his advisors, some who were very intransigent, and after a bit of argument from some of his advisors, he finally concluded that foot binding will become illegal in China.
A few days later, the Emperor fell ill. A messenger ram arrived with a note. The note read: Xie Xie (Thank You) from Peiyi village. He felt great joy to having done something to help and that made him feel much better. For the rest of his ruling, the emperor went on helping different villages.
This is a story about how one girl, born 14 minutes younger, and ignored because of her height went on to save her village.
FIFTH PLACE: Aoife Walshe , Grade 1, Shanghai United International School, 6 years old
Writing talent often runs in families…and Aoife’s wonderful entry, at just six years of age, competing with her older sister Ashling above, proves the point! Her story about an ugly frog with wicked ambitions is remarkably well written for her age, with excellent structure, some great descriptions and a strong ending. An outstanding effort for such a young writer – I can’t wait to see more of her work!
The Ghost Princess and The Wicked Frog
Long, long ago in ancient China an emperor and his daughter, Mei Ling, lived in the Imperial Palace. It was summer in Beijing and the Empress was away at her summer palace.
Mei Ling was a pretty, kindhearted little girl with long, shiny black hair. Her favorite color was vermilion so she always wore beautiful vermilion gowns. Mei Ling’s favorite animal was her ram because she had been born in the year of the ram.
One day a fat, ugly frog came to the Imperial Palace to ask the Emperor for a year for himself; The Year of The Frog. However, when the frog saw how sumptuous the palace was he changed his mind. Now he wanted to be Emperor! The Frog Emperor.
The frog hatched a plan to poison the Emperor. He had been watching the Emperor and discovered that the Emperor loved to eat cookies, so he secretly put a delicious poison cookie on the Emperor’s plate. Just before dinner the princess came into the big dining room and saw the yummy cookie. Mei Ling couldn’t resist it, so she ate the cookie. Mei Ling died and turned into a ghost in the shape of her shadow.
When the Emperor discovered that his daughter had been poisoned there was pandemonium in the Imperial palace. The Emperor demanded to know who had committed this atrocious crime. The wily frog immediately blamed the ram. The Emperor was so furious that he kicked the ram all around the Imperial Palace and finally kicked him over the palace walls.
Mei Ling had been watching all of this and she was so sad to see how her favorite ram was being wrongfully treated.
Because Mei Ling loved the ram so much and because she was born in the year of the ram Mei Ling’s shadow now changed into the shadow of a ram. Mei Ling decided to watch the frog carefully. She started following him around. The next day she saw the frog dressing up as the Emperor and admiring himself in the mirror. Mei Ling now knew what the frog wanted.
The frog tried to kill the Emperor many, many times but each time the ram’s shadow thwarted his plans. Finally, Mei Ling became so mad with the frog that she appeared in front of him as the ram. The frog was terrified and he begged for forgiveness. Mei Ling told him that he was the wickedest animal she had ever met. She butted him so hard that he went up, up into the air and was caught in a storm high up in the sky. The storm carried him for a long time, spinning him around and around until he finally came down with a splash into a slimy pond far, far away from the Imperial palace.
This is why frogs now live in slimy ponds.
SIXTH PLACE: Madeline Painter, Grade 2, Stamford American School, Singapore, 8 years old
Madeline is an up and coming writer to be watched! You may recall her excellent entry in my Shaggy Sheep Poem Competition, where she won an Honourable Mention in a very stiff field of competition. Here, her clever and witty story about a cheeky empress with a wardrobe problem has won her sixth place. Great effort Madeline!
Empress Shigashidoo and her Little Friend
Once upon an unknown galaxy, on a dinky little planet called earth, in a itsy-bitsy country called China, there was a cheeky, illustrious little empress and her name was Shigashidoo.
Her little problem was she awfully liked this sumptuous vermilion dress and wanted to keep it clean, but she loved rolling around in the mud more.
“You got your dress dirty!” was always the instant remark from her mother when she twirled through the door after a walk with that little vermilion dress of hers, which, in case you haven’t noticed, she was very fond of.
Now, little Shigashidoo loved animals, so much her room was filled up with a panda, a pig, a ram, and herself. Now that ram was tantalized about going on walks and rolling in the mud and often went on walks with little Shigashidoo.
One stormy day, coming back from a walk looking as muddy as ever, a little frog stopped her in the middle of the path. That frog wasn’t any frog stopping in the middle of the path. How do we know this? The frog spoke!
This is what he said and I quote, “Hey! Why don’t you come over here? I got somethin’ to show ya’!”
Somehow Shigashidoo, as an animal lover, trusted the frog. Although she knew trouble was brewing, she had a voice in her head saying, “Follow the frog, Shigashidoo, follow the frog,” and somehow, that voice belonged to her mother.
So Shigashidoo followed the frog, just as the voice had instructed. Behind her, her ram that she so dearly loved, trotted along. But what she did not know yet, was where fate was going to take her…
A bit later, the frog stopped short at the entrance to a small, narrow cave. “You want me to go in there?” she asked sounding surprised. “Sure do,” replied the frog. Shigashidoo shrugged and walked in the cave, her faithful ram following.
“First, something for that ram of yours.”
The ram stepped forward seeming like he trusted the frog as much as the little empress did. The frog presented a bubble blower to them.
Shigashidoo accepted the gift reluctantly. “Why do we need bubbles?” Although Shigashidoo thought the frog might be a few generations short of an emperor, (a.k.a. a few bricks short of a pyramid) she did what the frog said and to her amazement, a bubble grew the same size as the ram and went around him.
“Now your turn,” the frog blew a bubble on her and ordered them to roll around in the mud. They did and got no mud on them! This was exactly what little Shigashidoo wanted!
She pranced home with her ram and could hardly wait to tell her mother the good news.
YEARS 4 TO 6 CATEGORY
In this section there were 22 fantastic entries from schools in Hong Kong, Melbourne, Seattle, Shanghai, Singapore and Sydney! The writing quality was very high indeed, and the task of choosing six finalists extremely difficult. Congratulations to Marissa Chow of Kowloon Junior School in Hong Kong; Lillian Lee of Hamilton International School in Seattle; Annette Shabana Dass and Ella Kappo of Canadian International School Lakeside in Singapore; Elise Willett of Wellington School in Shanghai; Lara Goodman of Rose Bay Public School and Annabelle Laughton, Lily Barnett, Charlotte Morris, Hannah Field, Taylor Collings and Amelia Hamer of Turramurra Public School in Sydney for your excellent entries – do make sure you enter my next competition!
Special congratulations to Kristina Akova of German Swiss International School in Hong Kong; Eleanor Martin of Loreto Mandeville in Melbourne and Nicholas Ng of Shanghai United International School Hongqiao, whose entries very nearly made the final cut!
And now for the six best entries, with a very Special Mention at the end!
FIRST PLACE: Warren Cheong, Year 5, German Swiss International School Hong Kong, 10 years old
Warren’s story of a moody Empress, a missing magical Ram, a warty frog and a brave nephew is action-packed, with a great story structure, plenty of sophisticated vocabulary (including six Wicked Words) and a fluent writing style. But it was his attention to small descriptive details – which set the action very firmly in China – which helped him to pip the post to secure First Place against some very tough competition. Well done Warren!
The Hunt for the Golden Ram
The palace guard shook with terror as precious plates, antique china and glittering jewels flew past his head and smashed to the floor. The Empress Zili was in an atrocious mood because her precious golden ram, which was studded with vermillion rubies, had vanished. The magical ram was the source of her omnipotence as it could grant endless wishes and immortality to whoever held it.
“Get me my golden ram! Heads will fly if nobody finds it!” the empress shrieked as her cruel eyes narrowed. “Whichever one of you flea-brained imbeciles retrieves it will be granted one wish. I need my ram back now!” she roared as her resplendent robes rustled with rage.
Hearing pandemonium echoing through the palace’s corridors, Yong Gan, Empress Zili’s nephew, raced to the scene of the crime.
“What’s happening, Aunt?” Yong Gan panted.
“My golden ram is missing. China will slip from my grasp without it,” the empress despaired.
“Don’t worry. I will take on your gargantuan challenge and get it back for you, even if it costs me my life,” Yong Gan assured her.
Yong Gan noticed that there was a hole in the safe where Empress Zili kept her treasures. He looked into the hole and spotted a dark, twisting tunnel that the thieves had hollowed out to get into the royal palace. In a flash, Yong Gan slipped into the hole to follow the criminals and retrieve the ram.
He reappeared several days later dirty and exhausted. To his surprise, he saw the Great Wall of China looming above him. The country he was in did not look like China though: there were no guards and no merchants travelling the Silk Road. Yong Gan sat down in the dust and despaired. How would he get his aunt’s golden ram back when he was in such unfamiliar territory?
Just as Yong Gan was about to give up, he heard someone croaking in Chinese. Puzzled, and thinking that perhaps the hot sun had gone to his head, he looked down and spotted a warty, brown frog with wise, bulging eyes. The frog introduced himself politely, not giving Yong Gan time to think about how strange it was to find himself talking to an amphibian.
“Good afternoon, Your Highness,” the frog croaked. “I can tell you are from the Forbidden City by your splendid clothes and the way you have styled your hair. I am Rui Zhi, former advisor to Empress Zili. It is a pleasure to meet you.”
“Rui Zhi! I cannot believe my eyes. It’s been years!”
“Are you Yong Gan all grown-up? Can it be true?”
“Yes, Rui Zhi, it is me. What happened to you?”
“I was exiled by your aunt all those years ago because she caught me trying to make a wish on her magical golden ram,” Rui Zhi explained. “I could see how unhappy China was, and how greedy your aunt was becoming. It was my greatest wish to give happiness back to the Chinese people. I was using the ram to wish for every citizen to make a wish of their own. Your aunt flew into a fury, banished me to Mongolia and turned me into a frog.”
“Your misfortune might be fortunate for me,” Yong Gan stated. I am on a mission to find the ram, which has been stolen by Mongolia’s emperor. He knows how weak China is and wants to seize power for himself. Can you be my guide? If we succeed, I know my aunt will exonerate you.”
“Let me show you the way!” Rui Zhi agreed excitedly. “I know this country inside out after thirty years in exile here.
The pair travelled through the hot, dusty Mongolian plains for hours, stopping briefly for food and water. Suddenly a castle appeared on the horizon, armed with terrifying looking weapons and defended by enormous walls lined with soldiers.
Before the travellers had time to reach the city walls the Mongolian emperor had used the ram to conjure up a malevolent monsoon that would keep them away. Winds as powerful as an army whistled and whooshed past them. Rain pounded the ground as loudly as a cavalry of horses. The ground flooded and fog shrouded them. The water was so deep that Yong Gan could not wade through it, so the frog boldly decided to swim to the castle and rescue the golden ram.
Rui Zhi swam silently towards the castle entrance. The sky was dark enough that the Mongolian soldiers did not notice him breaking through their fortifications. Rui Zhi worked his way stealthily through the castle and found the golden ram. He moved swiftly and made it out of the palace without being noticed.
Just as Rui Zhi and Yong Gan were about to escape, the Emperor of Mongolia stopped the storm from raging, and the pair became visible as they dashed to the Great Wall. Soldiers started shooting arrows at them, but they were no match for courageous Yong Gan and he easily defeated them all before escaping back through the tunnel into China.
When they got back to the empty safe in the Forbidden City they ran outside to where Empress Zili was sitting angrily on her throne.
“We found the golden ram, aunt!” Yong Gan cheered.
“My royal advisor, is that you?” Empress Zili asked the frog.
“Yes, I am Rui Zhi,” the frog informed her.
“You shall be exonerated and turned back into a man,” Zili exclaimed. “I am over-the-moon that you helped to find my treasured ram.”
The empress muttered some magic words to the golden ram and the talking frog disappeared, in his place stood a wizened man.
“As for you, Nephew, you shall be granted a wish,” the empress said. Yong Gan wished for the whole of China to be joyful.
From that day on China was peaceful and her people had easy lives thanks to the bravery and wisdom of Yong Gan and Rui Zhi.
SECOND PLACE: Jemma Julian, Grade 5, homeschooled in Sydney, 10 years old
Readers will remember that Jemma has placed in the last two previous competitions with her original and very sophisticated style. This time she has given Warren a very close run with her whimsical story of a magic paintbrush, an artist princess, and two very brave animal friends. Jemma’s vocabulary is simply outstanding, on top of which she managed to correctly use 11 of my Wicked Words in her story! She even had me reaching for the dictionary with that extraordinary word “thaumaturgic”! I’m not going to tell you what it means – you’ll have to look it up for yourselves! Fantastic job Jemma – keep up the good work!
The Magic Paintbrush.
The ram was chewing grass as he surveyed the pond below him. A beautiful cream- white frog with vermillion eyes stared out at him from between green reeds. How jealous the ram was of the frog’s skin. He was only dark sienna, the colour of seaweed. The ram didn’t know what seaweed looked like, as he had only ever been in this one grassy landscape – in the painting that Princess Shuang was now painting.
‘Oh, poor ram,’ said Princess Shuang. ‘He has such a dreary coat. I’ll brighten him up.’ She mixed some colours on her palette and painted the ram’s legs a sumptuous purple and gave him an illustrious black goatee.
The ram felt instantly better. He now had a resplendent coat to rival the frog, but there was something missing… something that could bring him to life. Yes! It came from Princess Shuang small hands holding her tattered bamboo brush as she painted down his back and tummy, bringing the gift of life with each stroke.
The ram suddenly found himself next to Princess Shuang and gave an exuberant kick of his heels while she brushed life into the frog. Princess Shuang got a terrible surprise and promptly burst into tears: her painting had come to life! The frog jumped about wildly.
“I am sorry for Come- quit’s rude behaviour,” said the ram fastidiously. “He has no manners.”
“How dare you!” croaked the frog, wishing to elucidate. “My name is Cumquat, your Majesty”, he said.
“Your majesty”, cried the ram, bowing down on one foreleg. “My name is Mellow. Where are we and what is your name?”
Princess Shuang, who was in shock, spent several minutes opening and shutting her mouth. “My n-name is P-p-princess Sh-shuang. We are in the P-p-palace in the F-f-forbidden C-city of B-b-Beijing. How did you come out of my p-p-painting?” she blurted.
“It was the thaumaturgic brush Princess Shuang,” said Mellow, bowing again.
“Grandma’s old brush?” She picked it up, wondering at her serendipitous discovery.
“Yes your Highness”, answered Mellow and Cumquat.
“Oh, please don’t call me that!” Princess Shuang said. Mellow and Cumquat looked at her in a puzzled way. “I just hate it. Ever since Ma and Da died, I’ve been told I have to be queen and now everyone calls me that. They used to call me Sweet Peach, but they don’t even call me Shuang anymore.”
“Your parents are dead?” said Mellow, “We are so sorry to hear this.”
“Yes, about a year ago they were on holiday for two weeks in Tianjing city. There was a rockslide and…” Princess Shuang began to cry again.
“You poor girl,” said Mellow, with lugubrious respect.
But then Princess Shuang said something which changed their lives forever. ‘Will you be my friends?’
Three months later, their friendship was still happy and strong. Unfortunately, Mellow and Cumquat’s paint was flaking off with every game they played. Soon they would become only paint-dust and he and Cumquat were worried. Between them they stole the magic brush from Shuang while she slept. They painted themselves back into their canvas.
Shuang woke up. She’d been having the most horrible dream about Mellow and Cumquat becoming two dimensional again. But it was only a dream, thank goodness.
“Mellow! Cumquat!” cried Shuang repeatedly – silence.
Shuang felt afraid. She looked but could not find her special brush. She looked at the painting. Two animals on the canvas- a cream coloured frog and a brown ram with purple legs looked out at her.
“No!!!” choked Shuang. “It can’t be true!!”
“I’m sorry,” thought Mellow.
“We were turning to dust Shuang,” thought Cumquat.
At that very moment Shuang’s heart turned to ice. Choosing a new canvas Shuang began to paint. Mixing a dark sumptuous blue with grey, black, white and a little vermillion, Shuang painted a hurricane monsoon. Fiery blues mixed with vermillion makes the most hazardous, desolate storm. The storm swelled and roared from her canvas. Lightning flashed, hail dropped, thunder rolled, and the wind beat a heavy, fast rhythm against Shuang’s Palace.
“There, I’ve painted the perfect storm,” cried Shuang. “I hate you Mellow, you deserted me, you pusillanimous ram and Cumquat, you despicable frog!”
The storm rose to a crescendo. A bolt of lightning threw itself down from the heavens, straight into Shuang’s small body.
“Cumquat, something’s not right.” Said Mellow, peering out from the wet canvas.
“I know Mellow. Something terrible is happening to Shuang!” croaked Cumquat.
“We must help her!” Cried Mellow.
“How- oh!”
“The sacrificial way is the only way we can help Shuang.”
“But we will die! Turn to dust!” Cumquat yelped.
“She’s our friend, and she’d do the same for us, I know it.”
“ But-“
“ Quickly Cumquat! Hold me tightly and say what I say.”
“For a friend, we exchange our lives.
For a friend, each of us dies.
For a friend, who needs us,
We will turn to dust.”
Rainbow colours swirled around Cumquat and Mellow.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” they cried in unison. Suddenly they were in Shuang’s bedroom- but where was Shuang?
“Shuang! There she is!” Mellow cried. Under a pile of hailstones was Shuang, ice cold and deathly pale. Cumquat put his head on her chest. The faintest, tiniest beat.
“She’s alive, just.” Said Cumquat gravely.
“M-Mellow? Cumquat?” whispered Shuang. “Will die because of me? I didn’t know, I was so happy to have some friends. I didn’t see that you’d turn into… dust.” Her voice faded away and Mellow and Cumquat’s paint flaked off, the beginning of their sacrificial ending.
Mellow and Cumquat started to disappear. Their bodies slowly disintegrated and their paint blowing away.
“Don’t go Mellow and Cumquat!” cried Shuang. “Please, don’t leave me, I will die instead!”
But all she could hear from the outlines of Mellow and Cumquat was Mellow saying:
“I told you that she would die for us Cumquat, and maybe she will, in another time, in another life. We are all bonded… for eternity.”
THIRD PLACE: Aria Fafat, Grade 5, Canadian International School, Lakeside Campus, Singapore, 9 years old
Aria’s story of tragedy, love and sacrifice, including a fearsome dragon, is truly moving – and I loved her fabulous writing style, especially her description of the childhood years of Meili and Honggan: “The clearings in the forest were their playgrounds, the animals their uncommon friends, the cave their cradling home” – now that’s what I call great writing! Aria’s third place is well-deserved – and I very much look forward to seeing her entry in my next competition!
Fire
The raging fire spread across the village, and crept up to the palace, where the Great Empress of China had just delivered a baby girl. The Emperor took the baby and fled towards the forest. He gave the baby to his friend, the ram, to carry her to safety while he stood guard to stop any would-be attacker. The village, meanwhile, was in complete pandemonium, people running about in chaos. One village woman also fled with her baby boy to the forest, and left him in a stone cave. She ran back to help salvage what was left of the village, hoping that the fire would not reach her little one.
The golden ram took the baby princess to his cave in the meadow – a cave which he shared with his friend, the frog. They gave the baby girl some water and tried to comfort her. Soon, the girl fell asleep, but the sounds of crying continued. The frog hopped deeper in the cave and saw another baby, swaddled in blankets.
“Jinse, look!” The frog called out to the ram. The ram came over and looked at the wailing baby. He had rough, black hair and a thin, unhealthy body; caked with dirt and grime. Jinse took the baby boy and kept him with the sleeping child. In comfort at the sight of another baby, his crying stopped. A gentle bond had been forged.
Alas! The fire could not be tamed. It destroyed all in its path – palace and village alike, even as the lush greenery of the forest protected all within. By the time morning arrived, all else had been lost…
Over the next few years, the children grew up as brother and sister. The clearings in the forest were their playgrounds, the animals their uncommon friends, the cave their cradling home. The frog had named the girl “Meili” and the boy, “Yonggan”. Meili and Yonggan were inseparable, whether they were sprinting through the foliage or lazing around by the stream in warm sunshine. In each other’s company they found contentment of life.
On that fateful day, while Meili was out collecting berries and nuts as a birthday treat for Yonggan, she heard the distant sound of thunder. Before long, the clouds had gathered in angry force. Hard rain started pouring down in gushing rivers and icy winds whipped her hair. Mist swirled around the clouds and mud splashed across her grass dress. While trying to get home, Meili tripped over a rock and blood oozed out from her cheek. She moaned in pain and scrambled around to find a place to hold. Her legs and arms were full of scratches and her feet were throbbing.
Back in the cave, everyone was waiting for Meili.
“Jinse, Yonggan lets go search for Meili. I’m worried that this ferocious storm has done something to our little princess” said the frog anxiously.
Yonggan comforted him, “Frog, do not worry. Meili will return. She will find her way back.” So they waited for what seemed like eternity.
Meili had lost her basket of nuts and berries. She limped along the muddy field and found herself in front of a cave. She called out weakly, “Yonggan ? Jinse? Frog?” No one answered. She went in. And gasped! A vermillion glow danced on the walls, and the carcasses of humans and animals were all over the floor. Meili looked around her in scared wonder.
Suddenly a voice boomed,” Who dares disturb the great dragon, Zhulong?” Meili jumped, but didn’t answer.
That was when the fireballs came.
“Meili? Meili where are you?” Yonggan and the frog had gone to search for Meili, while Jinse stayed home, in case Meili came back. As they crossed the stream, the frog noticed a trail of blood, scraping the damp grass. They hurried along the trail till Zhulong’s cave in front of them.
“Yonggan. This is cave of the dragon. No one comes out alive.” The frog warned.
Meili dodged gargantuan fireball after fireball. Zhulong had still not shown himself, but the fire seemed to have come from the roof of the cave. “Stop! Please stop Zhulong!” she pleaded. Hearing her voice, he sprung out of his hiding place and roared,” No one gets out of here alive! You will die.” With his red scales shimmering, he breathed another fireball that grazed Meili’s leg. She screamed with pain.
Her shrill cry reached Yonggan and the frog. Yonggan ran to the cave. Inside, Meili was hurt and Zhulong was about to pounce. Yonggan shouted, “Zhulong! Don’t waste your fire! Come and battle me by hand.” Zhulong snarled and they grappled for a while. Then, the frog stopped Yonggan from tearing out Zhulong’s scales.
“Yonggan! If you kill this beast, the world will be in darkness forever!” Yonggan scrambled back. “Zhulong, please, let us go!” Zhulong laughed atrociously. “Yonggan, I can’t do that! I need food!”
Meili painfully got to her feet. She put her hands up and said,” Oh, Zhulong. If you are so hungry, please take me and spare Yonggan and Frog. I am hurt and useless, now. Eat me.”
As Zhulong got ready to kill her, the frog turned to Meili.” Your father tried to save you from fire. But your destiny is embedded in you. You did well my child. You did well.”
Zhulong let go of the fireball, and Meili was blown backwards. Yonggan, unable to bear the pain of being without Meili, ran at the dragon. Zhulong let out another fireball and Yonggan too, was blown away. Then it went dark.
“Meili?” Yonggan was ablaze, but he couldn’t feel anything. Meili was right next to him, on fire. They were spirits. Fire spirits. And as the two floated together, Meili smiled at Yonggan. “Yes?” “Nothing” Yonggan held her hand and together they watched the fiery sun set.
Two different lives, entwined as one, and even in death inseparable. That is the true meaning of love.
FOURTH PLACE: Dominic Jun Cheng, Year 5, Chinese International School, Hong Kong, 9 years old
I loved Dominic’s tale of a magician ram, a frog princess, a neon dragon and a wicked witch! It is entertainment from start to finish, with some great vocabulary and a fun ending. A very impressive effort from one of the youngest contestants in this category.
The Magical Ram and the Frog Princess
The vermilion ram was bored. Yang had been living on an ancient and very soporific farm outside Beijing for his entire life. He was intelligent and kind, but fed up. More than anything he longed for adventure and to discover the world.
On a day that Yang thought could not get any more boring, his adventure finally began. As he was chewing on some juicy green grass a frog hopped over and, to his surprise, started talking.
“I haven’t seen the color vermilion since I left the imperial palace,” the frog croaked.
“Well I am not an ordinary ram,” Yang replied. “I am a magical ram with transfiguration powers.”
“Transfiguration powers? May you please turn me back into the princess that I really am?” asked the frog.
“Not unless you help me escape from this dirty, noisy, stinking farm,” Yang said. “Even though I am magical I will always be vermilion. Everyone would notice me if I escaped, I can’t do it alone.”
“I will help you,” agreed the frog princess as she hopped over the farm’s ramshackle fence to open the gate.
The ram and the frog had not gone very far when a huge and terrifying storm blew up. Thunder clapped and lightning crashed so they sprinted to a cave to shelter. They heard a massive boom and thought cave was going to explode and bury them alive. They could not believe their eyes when a gigantic neon dragon with lightning flashes on his back appeared instead.
“What are you doing in my cave?” the dragon roared.
“We are on a quest to turn this ordinary looking frog back into an imperial princess,” Yang stammered.
“A real princess?” the dragon asked, “I have always wanted to help a real princess.”
“It is indubitable,” Yang told him. “I have transfiguration powers and can change her back into a princess here if you will let me.”
“Be my guest,” the dragon said happily.
Yang lifted his hooves to transfigure the frog back into an imperial princess. Magic flashed, but nothing happened.
“Why haven’t your powers worked?” roared the dragon angrily.
“Oh, now I remember,” the frog whispered. “Only the witch can change me, it was her who cast the spell.”
“Treacherous villain! What an egregious crime,” the dragon boomed. “What is this witch called?”
“Witch Wupo,” the frog croaked.
“I know that witch. She used to be an enemy of mine, I will be very happy to kill her for you,” offered the dragon. “She lives on the planet Mootanious, twenty light years from China. I can travel at one light year per minute, so let’s go!”
Zoom, zoom, zoom! The frog and the ram felt like their bodies were left behind in China as they rocketed towards Mootanious. They could only see blackness and hear the whooshing of the dragon’s wings. All of a sudden there was a choke and they went flying off the dragon’s back and landed on the planet’s cushioned surface.
“Don’t worry if your feet sink down,” the dragon told them. “This planet is made from clouds.”
“It seems lifeless here. The witch must be hiding from us,” Yang said. “Let’s go and find her.”
The dragon, the ram and the frog princess walked until they became so exhausted that they fell asleep in a heap on the marshmallow-y ground.
In the morning, they spotted a pitch black dot dashing north. They realized it must be Wupo so they jumped back onto the dragon’s back and flew after her. As they got closer they saw that the witch was riding on her broomstick towards her gingerbread house. Wupo spotted the friends and turned her broomstick in the opposite direction. The dragon wanted to follow her, but the ram said, “Stop! I will transfigure myself into whatever potion Wupo is making in her cauldron. We will catch her, I promise!”
The dragon stopped at the witch’s front door and breathed out a lightning bolt to destroy it. The ram tiptoed in, looking around carefully for traps. He had to destroy Wupo’s bubbling potion so that she had no power left. He tipped it into the fire, which then turned invisible. It was very powerful stuff. In its place, he transfigured himself into a shimmering vermilion-colored potion and slipped into the witch’s cauldron to wait.
Once it was dark again Wupo returned to her gingerbread house. She wanted to finish her potion and was happy the dragon was not there. She was surprised when she spotted that her potion had changed color, but she thought it was because the recipe was so strong. She tried a spoonful. As soon as the liquid touched her lips she turned bright pink. When it was in her mouth she had grown a snout, a curly tail and some wiry ears. When she swallowed the mouthful she was one hundred percent pig and started snuffling around her gingerbread house in panic.
“Ha! We have got you now, Wupo!” the dragon cheered.
The pig snorted back, “I knew that pesky princess would come back to get me. If I promise to be good, will you change me back?”
Before the dragon could answer, sparks began flying. Something incredible was happening to the frog and to the vermilion potion. Poof! The frog became a princess again. She was not a pretty princess that you read about in fairytales but, abracadabra, the potion became a prince with bright vermilion hair and he did not care. He thought she was tantalizing.
The princess and the vermilion prince forced the pig onto the dragon’s back and they all flew back together to China. The left the pig at the dirty, noisy, stinking farm where the farmer was happy to have her instead of a vermilion ram. Then off they went to the imperial palace where they transfigured the dragon into a gargantuan guardsman before they lived happily ever after.
FIFTH PLACE: Isabel Duggan, Grade 5, Loreto Mandeville Hall, Toorak, Melbourne, 11 years old
Congratulations to first-time competition entrant Isabel on this clever twist on the true story of the Emperor Qin Shi Huang and the Great Wall of China, as well as her very original idea of a gang of rams led by the evil Thundertooth! It was good fun to read, and well written too. I look forward to seeing more of Isabel’s work!
The Dominating Horns!
Lu had been walking for hours on end. Her face was wet with tears and her eyes were red with rage. Lu wanted to stop and rest, find some food, or maybe some water. But her anger forced her on. An unwelcome menace had slipped into her life and she was going to stop it, no matter what it took.
Lu’s eyes had been staring at her dirty sneakers the whole trip. They were once pale pink, but the dirt as red as blood, Lu had been rambling in for the whole journey had turned the sneakers a dark and evil vermilion. It was the colour that gave Lu the impression; she was staring into the devils eyes.
But the sound of an unfamiliar voice bought Lu’s eyes back into the world.
“Why are you crying little girl” The voice was concerned yet inquisitive.
Lu looked around, trying to find someone who may have spoken the words, but all she saw was a drooping dove-tree in the distance losing a war against the heat.
“Down here”
Lu looked down. What she saw was not what she expected. Her eyes lay upon a gaunt looking frog. He’s smooth green skin and white chest lacked moistness and even though he was a frog the intelligence his eyes were filled with, only an owl could contain. Lu just stared. The frog was obviously used to this.
“Yes, yes I know, I am talking frog. But the way you are looking at me suggests that I have two heads, which I certainly do not. Now please tell me what caused you to be so upset.”
Even though Lu thought she had swallowed her tongue in shock, she tried her best to explain her story clearly and accurate.
“My Father is the resplendent Qin Shi Huang. He is the first emperor of China, which makes me the illustrious empress. A few days ago, he and his men made the decision to build a huge barrier around china to protect us. He’s calling it the great wall. People say it’s being built to protect us from armed men with horses and weapons, but the reality is much worse. My father tells me of a big and powerful ram named Thundertooth who leads an army of hundreds and maybe thousands of rams called the Dominating Horns. Only yesterday, the day before the building of the wall would begin, during the middle of the night my Father was taken by the Dominating Horns. This morning, everyone was in a state of pandemonium. I got my things and started to look for him. I had no idea where to go, but I needed to find him. My life isn’t complete without him.”
Lu had told her story extremely quickly and only in one breath, which left her gasping for air once she finished.
The Frog waited patiently for Lu to catch her breath before introducing himself. “My name is Lewis, the talking frog.” His said in his posh voice and held out his webbed hand.
Lu looked at the slimy hand and shook her head. “I don’t want to get any disease from your germy hand”. Lu felt bad almost immediately after she said it.
Lewis didn’t seem to mind though. “I know quite a bit about the Dominating Horns, in fact I even know where their evil lair is. But I’ll only share my knowledge with if you pour some of that divine liquid onto my dry skin. I’ll drop dead in this weather without my beautiful silky flesh being moist.” He said motioning to the water bottle Lu held in her frail hand.
She made the deal and soon learned that the Dominating Horns’ base was in the middle of Hallstatt, an abandoned city of China. Lu had never been to this place in China because she never knew it existed. She imagined it, as small and shadowed by an evil presence. Walls that were once red were painted black, and bought bad luck, but when Lu arrived at the town, it was tremendously worse.
Lu felt as though the town itself was sapping her only strength left from the long journey to even get here. It smelt like death and decay lingered in the air she tried terribly hard not to breathe in. The very few buildings this town had, cast shadows that played tricks on Lu’s eyes. A cold breeze blew by carrying disturbing whispers with it. Lu felt an ever-present sense of inescapable dread filling her heart.
And her Father was here.
Lu took a closer look at the town and saw many rams guarding every door. She was going to need a plan to get herself in and her father out. Lu thought and thought, until she remembered her black belt in karate!
All it took was a kick to knock out one of Thundertooth’s rams guarding the door to the prison. Lu took the keys from his belt and entered the dark room. Lu felt as though something evil was waiting around the corner, ready to grab her. But what she saw instead was a room with a single candle lit, in the center of the room. The candle seemed to bring dark much more than light, and Lu didn’t see the point of it.
But her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a very familiar voice.
“Lu? Is that you?”
Lu couldn’t be more relieved.
“Father!!!!!”
Lu ran to the cell that her fathers voice came from. She used the keys to unlock the door and hugged her Father!
“What have they done to you?” Said Lu, concerned.
“Oh, nothing they were just going to hold me prisoner so I wouldn’t build the wall. But that explanation can wait. How do we get out of here”?
Lu showed him the way back home and made him a big bowl of chicken and noodle soup before announcing to the whole of China that Qin Shi Huang was home safe and sound.
SIXTH PLACE: Gabriel Ben, Grade 4, Rose Bay Public School, Sydney, 9 years old
Gabriel’s entry made me laugh out loud – especially when I saw how cleverly he had re-interpreted my Tale of Rodney Ram – not to mention the Legend of the Five Rams of Guangzhou about how rice came to China! I thought the story was great – and I especially loved the talking frog with his distinctively Aussie accent! Great work Gabriel!
The Adventure of Rick the Ram
Somewhere near Beijing, tucked away in the great and vast land of China, was a small village ruled by a wealthy empress. The empress had pale skin, was very polite and she normally wore a bright red dress with white lotus patterns and gold stripes running down the front of her dress. The empress lived in a stone castle built by the hands of her great ancestors. The villagers were extremely kind people, who loved their ruler dearly. And in return she gave the villagers a place to spend time in with their families and to live in. So they all had a happy life – whether rich or poor.
The empress and her village made most of their money to build the magnificent statues and buildings in their land by selling wool from the fluffiest sheep in all of China. The empress had a favourite sheep and it was a male ram called Rick. Rick was a grand animal. He had curly horns that were brown and strong and his wool was soft and white. Every day he was sent flowers from his admirers who were the dashing female ewes. Every time he showed them his teeth that shone like stars they all lay back and fainted.
The empress had everything. She had gold, servants, a lovely village; there was nothing else she wanted except one thing. There was an ancient Chinese legend that a wise, 100 year old talking frog that can only be found in a pond near a patch of unknown crop would be brought to a Chinese town by an animal that lives in a royal palace, and the empress wanted that frog as much as anything. So every night, from when the empress was a child, she would look up at the sun setting in the vermillion coloured sky, which would be slowly becoming purple, and wish for the frog to come.
One windy night a huge storm struck the village. Rain and hail flooded the grass, lightning split the sky, thunder rumbled like a giant’s belly and all the houses were nearly swept away – all of the village people were ineffable – they couldn’t describe the storm! At the time, Rick was in the grass battling against the wind to get past, when he suddenly got swept away like a rag doll! He landed headfirst into an atrocious muddy puddle! Luckily, the angry storm had finished before the bright sun came up. Rick had never been so happy to see it! He stood up and slowly took in the view around him.
Then he saw a frog jumping in a pond. “G’day mate!” it said. Rick nearly jumped out of his skin! As Rick studied the frog closer, it jumped onto Rick’s soggy back.
“Fetch summa that rice over there” the frog said as it hopped down from his back and over to some light green grass that had grown crazily making the shape of a bad attempted mohawk. “Bring it back to ya village.”
As Rick bent down and picked up some rice in his mouth the frog hopped onto Ricks muddy but dry back again and together they slowly made their way to the palace.
As Rick walked onto the wet but magnificent marble ground, the empress walked up to Rick and gave him a hug.
“My dear friend, where were you? And what is this strange plant you have in your mouth?” she said.
“It’s a rice crop” the frog said. The empress was so bamboozled that her eyes nearly fell out of her head in shock!
“My god!” Is this really what I think it is?” the empress managed to choke out. “Is this the frog of my dreams?” she gasped.
“Mate, if you’re referrin’ to me, yes.” the frog croaked.
The empress, having recovered from her shock, lifted the frog in amazement.
“Rick, your-your-your wonderful” she stammered quietly.
As Rick turned red in the cheeks and smiled he dropped the rice into some dirt that had been flooded during the dreadful storm. As weeks passed the rice grew taller and taller, and the village was known throughout the world because not only of the wool they had, but Rick’s adventure, the discovery of rice, and the amazing talking frog. By this happening, the village had started the ‘silk road’.
In honour of Rick, the empress had a giant stone statue of him built in the middle of the village. And that is where it still is.
SPECIAL MENTION: Hillary Lo, Grade 6, Shatin Junior School, Hong Kong, 10 years old
A very fond farewell to Hillary Lo, who first started entering my Clever Competitions four years ago, when she was just 7 years old! Hillary has never missed a competition since, and has won a place every time, with her poetry just as good as her prose! Highlights were her First Place in the Grade 4 to 6 Category of the Handsome Horse poetry competition last year, and her Third Place in the Shaggy Sheep Poem competition this year. Hillary has also been an enthusiastic follower of my blog, contributing many comments to its pages. Sadly this competition is the last time we will see Hillary’s special talent, as she is now moving onwards and upwards to high school. Thank you Hillary for your devotion to my Clever Competition and to the cause of great writing, as well as for your fabulous contributions – I hope to see your name up in lights as a famous author one day! Here is Hillary’s last great entry:
The Story of Xin Ya
A young figure of 9 stood by the doorstep, her clothes ragged and torn. With tears trickling down her cheeks, she was solemnly waving to a girl with the same identical face but taller. As footsteps padded down the stairs, revealing a heavily built lady with a belly that looked like an explosive balloon that might burst any time, the puddle widened.The lady was the only one wearing decent clothes, and she snapped at the two sisters while she lay on a sturdy wooden chair, slumped sideways like a sack potato.
Xin Li gave one last goodbye to her departing sister, attacking her damp face with a lace handkerchief. “There, there. See you,” Xin Ya whispered comfortingly to her sister and herself as she wanted to believe that they would. On the matching wooden table, lay catalogues and cute outfits for the new baby. “Real Cuju footballer! Unlike you two dirty faced, lackadaisical girls!” she boasted proudly and turned her back with disgust on them.
The reason why they were so filthy was because all of Xin Ya’s salary provided this disgraceful woman with new clothes and hair accessories, her body dripping with diamonds.
“Bye, Xin Ya! Good luck!” Xin Li tugged at the creaking door, her body crumpling due to her tiredness and sadness.
“Yeah, good riddance!” cackled a very unpleasant voice.
Xin Ya froze, as solid as the ground, when she spotted a bobbing head with streaks of white hair and wrinkles of worry near the market on her way, whom she recognised was her late father’s ailing mother, who was concerned about the two sisters. Xin Ya ducked as she realised how sad she would be if she knew Xin Ya was leaving.
Xin Ya gave a wry smile as she reached the guards at the palace door and the palace towered over her. “Xin Ya. Consort Xu’s maid.” Xin Ya sighed as she went through the same procedure as she did every 2 years. A grim expression plastered across her face as Consort Xu and Consort Wu, with new sumptuous robes, sashayed behind one of the most illustrious people Xin Ya had known during her time in the palace- Empress Yang.
Xin Ya and the guards obediently bobbed a curtsy to each of the women.
“See? As the day of my upgrading ceremony is looming, I wear nicer silk! ”
Consort Xu frowned as Consort Wu boasted.
“Well, my dear sister Empress, she is your new maid. Xin Ya, you should be grateful since the emperor let you become upgraded!”
Empress Yang looked like she was facing dirt. “Get yourself here quick!” Xin Ya felt relieved to have the soft silk for maids rubbing against her shivering body. She playfully stuck two blue lavenders in her new hairstyle and returned to Empress Yang.
“Well, you do look better.” Empress Yang said flatly as she nodded approvingly, trying not to show how impressed she was.
Xin Ya hummed as she watered the flowers by the pond and noticing a lime green frog perched on a lily.
“Good Morning, my pretty little ‘un. What a mellifluous voice you have! I could fall into a dream!” There was a hint of French.
“I, Bergamo, was born in Canada. And during a big storm, when the wind spins rapidly like knifes in a blender, the old frogs leave. Empress Yang uses us orphans to create an anti-aging frog soup. Terrible! Luckily, we escaped at the last minute. Xin Ya, help us stop Empress Yang. Go on, I shall reunite with my family soon!”
Bergamo camouflaged himself in the pond. Xin Ya hurriedly created ripples, feeling around. She shrieked when she found gargantuan frogs who burped but not once that humble talking frog.
A clatter of footsteps slowly became louder, and the Emperor appeared, looking resplendent in his vermillion robes for the morning prayers. A ram was highly neighing and snorting at fearful and nervous eunuchs and maids. “No grass, Stanford!” Stanford neighed in protest.
Xin Ya turned to Stanford. “Calm down, Stanford! Who’s a handsome clever boy?” Stanford nuzzled up to Xin Ya in agreement. Xin Ya stroked his head comfortingly as he nudged her pocket. A piece of paper floated out of Xin Ya’s pocket.
Emperor Tang gasped as he read the contents written by the Empress.
“Emperor Tang, may I ask what you are in such hurry for?”
The Emperor looked stricken. “Xin Ya, Yang’s title shall be removed. I have already chosen the new Empress! In 5 minutes, you have totally captivated me with your kindness, and I believe that you will become a great empress. I totally admire your idiosyncrasies, as well as how you happen to sing and talk to the pond while you’re cleaning!”
Xin Ya’s mouth fell open. “But, Emperor, I am only a maid! Oh, thank you!” Xin Ya kneeled on the ground, amazed.
On the day of this very imperial marriage, it was an utter pandemonium, maids rushing everywhere to dress the perfect duo and the whole city ringing of how the maid became the Empress, a very important ingredient- kindness.
Everyone adored the iridescence of the pearls placed on Empress Xin as the sun created a spotlight for this couple.
A few days later, a storm arrived. Xin Ya thought of Bergamo and bit her lip worriedly as she lit up a candle specially for this honourable frog. She sat silently, and snapped back into her senses when she heard a nervous knock. The new maid walked carefully over to her.
“Good Afternoon, Empress Sin.” Xin Ya clamped her hand over her mouth when she recognised that voice.
“Xin Li!” Xin Ya rushed forward to pull the young girl into a big embrace.
“Xin Ya! I can’t believe it! Mother is fine but she’s devastated because “he” was a girl after all.”
“I’ll look after you, Xin Li, you’ll see.” Xin Ya kept to her promise, as the fluffy white clouds in the sky took the shape of a smile.
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